EVERYTHING GOOD?

We’ve all done it, or at least a variation of it. Let’s call it the “fly by”.

You’re on the run…tons on your plate…going from one meeting to the next. You see a co-worker, teammate, colleague or client in your path. You make eye contact from afar, look away for a beat, look back up as you approach, give them that courteous but guarded nod, and then you ask, “everything good?”. And without breaking stride or skipping a beat, you just keep walking by.?

We may mean well, but when we ask such an important question – on the fly – you’ll rarely get an honest answer, and the collateral damage can be more immense than we think. If you’re a leader – which I consider us all to be - you’re not only dismissing the person you’re flying by, you’re possibly setting the tone for the rest of the team to fly along with you.?

We’re funny creatures in that, as the leadership goes, many others go too. If you have some status in your organization/on your team, it takes but a few quick encounters to establish a pattern; a language pattern, a tone pattern, a pace pattern, and eventually, a flight pattern. I’ve seen it first-hand. The play goes something like this: Outside consultants arrive, whiteboard meetings ensue, clever acronyms get created, surveys go out, and feedback comes in. And the results are…wait for it…

1. Morale is low.

2. Culture needs improvement.

3. People don’t feel seen and heard.?

With that, leadership is told it starts with them, which it does. The concern is, we’re too busy running the company, we don’t have the time, and this needs to be fixed NOW. What do we do? Well, we try to fit it all with veiled attempts at connection on the walk, in stride, on the run, through the corridors, past the water cooler, on the fly. Unfortunately, this ends up causing more harm than good. In our desire to make people feel seen and heard, we may be doing the exact opposite. In our attempt to connect, we’re walking right by. In our genuine desire to check in with our team, we’re missing the mark and going too far too fast, because true connections take time.

What if we hold on to questions like, “everything good?”, “how are you feeling?, “how are you doing?”, and only go there if we mean it and if we actually have the time to stop, be grounded, and hear the answer? What if we gave ourselves and others a little grace, and trusted that a genuine smile, sincere eye contact, honoring someone’s name, even a quick hello, may be all we can give in that moment? It may also be all that person needs at that time.

You know, I know, they know, we all know, there’s no way someone can honestly answer the question, “everything good?” on the fly. And chances are, if someone did actually call our bluff and go there, we’d be awkwardly and uncomfortably stopped in our tracks, and our flight to the next thing would be all sorts of jammed up.?

So, if morale is low, culture is hurting, and people don’t feel seen and heard, give it some time and give of your time. Slowly but surely, you will see a change in pattern if we, as leaders, make it our top priority to stay grounded, be intentional with every interaction, engage authentically, and when appropriate, stop and listen to truly hear if “everything’s good”.

Listen On. Connect On. Game On.