Everything is Calculated

I’m such a numbers-oriented person I sometimes laugh at myself.

When I’m driving I measure in my mind the distances between cars and switch lanes accordingly. I do the same when walking. I also do the same when eating.

So we can probably assume that I would do the same with my time. I calculate how I spend my time and where. As I wrote about on Tuesday, you are who you spend time with.

I’m very aware of who I spend time with and how much time I spend with them.

I wrote a little about the negative side of things on Tuesday:

You don’t have to spend time with your boss, get a new job.

You don’t have to spend time with your boyfriend, end the relationship.

You don’t have to spend time with your family, move.

You don’t have to spend time with your friends, spend time doing things you care about.

So that is what I started with. However, I want to talk more about the way, or one way, that I manage relationships I maintain.

I know what I can control.

I can control WHO I spend time with and why.

But, I can not control what the people I spend time with say or do when I am with them.

As a result, I’m very conscious of what people do around me. I want to know that my time and energy are being spent wisely. In the same manner, I like to ensure that the people who are interacting with me are spending their time and energy wisely.

I think about what happens when I’m with people and ultimately, how much time I desire to spend with them.

As I often reflect on, my goals are different from everyone else’s. With that in mind, I look to spend most of my time with people who can support me just by being them. I think that we all know that people will not change unless they want to.

So I think about what people bring to the table and I am sure to ask questions about goals and expectations for relationships and such. Because if I am not with someone, it obviously takes energy to become aligned. It’s up to me and the other person to determine and ultimately decide how much time and energy we want to invest the relationship.

This is one reason that I am so strong on my values and seek to surround myself with people that share the same values.

Often, values are so close to heart that they will not change unless the individual desires to change them.

People talk sometimes about friends that they have for different activities or things. I totally agree.

I won’t workout with the same friends that I’ll go to business conferences with.

Likewise, I won’t spend a Friday night with the same people that I would spend a Monday morning with. Everyone is a little different and I always keep that in mind when I think about who I am spending my time with and how.

Do you know who you spend your time with and why?

Originally published on August 22, 2019, on Medium