Everything is Awesome: How the Fa?ade of Composure Weakens Organizations

You're drowning in deadlines. Your clients are blaming you for another department's mistakes. You know your boss's pet project is doomed to fail. Your work life is a hot mess, but when you step into the office, it's all smiles and "Everything is under control" vibes. Then later that night as your head hits the pillow, the crushing weight of stress suffocates your spirit. Sound familiar?

In the intricate dance of human interaction, we conceal negative thoughts and feelings more often than positive ones.

• We conveniently omit risk factors conveniently from status reports
• We feign enthusiasm when we don't buy in
• We lie to ourselves about the buried pain from years of not feeling valued

?The results?

• Festering issues that suddenly explode into a full-blown crisis
• The slow, insidious cancer of groupthink
• Missed opportunities to achieve our potential, or even self-abandonment

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Putting on a happy face is a universal phenomenon, but when it becomes the de facto way of showing up at work, employees and teams suffer.

But before we can neutralize this behavior, we must diagnose why we do it so we can treat the underlying disease and not just the symptoms. There are three main reasons why we pretend everything is okay when it's not:

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1. Fear of judgment

There's an unwritten code in the corporate world that says you gotta keep your cool no matter what. Letting your temper show for a split second can get you branded "emotional". Admitting you're struggling to keep up? That's like waving a giant red flag in front of the promotion committee.

2. Fear of failure

From a young age, we're taught to uphold a certain image of ourselves, one that reflects strength and resilience in the face of adversity. Asking for help, or even admitting to ourselves that we have limits can feel like we are failing at self-sufficiency.

3. Fear of responsibility

We often live our work lives on a razor's edge. A slight misstep can send us tumbling into the void. Pretending that everything is fine and will stay fine is a coping mechanism that shields us from the horror we might discover if we paused to notice just how bad things have become. If we just keeping moving forward, papering over any blemishes, we might just survive long enough to make it someone else's problem.

The tendency to pretend that everything is okay when it's not is a multifaceted phenomenon rooted in social, psychological, and emotional dynamics.

Brené Brown 's teachings remind us that vulnerability is not a weakness to be feared, but a strength to be embraced. In the workplace, fostering a culture of authenticity and connection can transform the way we collaborate, innovate, and thrive as individuals and as teams. But that vulnerability is only possible when our managers and co-workers model it and embrace it when we are brave enough to admit when we need a little more support.

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So when a coworker says, "Three out of the four workstreams are at risk of falling behind schedule."

SAY THIS: "It's good we know about it sooner than later. What do you need to get things back on track?"

NOT THIS: "This is a very high profile project. We can't afford to fall behind. You need to get things back on track. If you don't, the leadership team is going to be pissed, and they're going to know this happened on your watch."

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When a coworker says, "I don't think I can take on another project. My current workload is already creeping into my nights and weekends."

SAY THIS: "We can put Project X on hold for a month while you ramp up Project Y. And what do you think about delegating Project Z to Daphne?"

NOT THIS: "This is our highest priority project and you're my best employee. We need you on this. There's a great time management course you should take."

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When a coworker says, "This whole batch of widgets is missing flagle handles. Should we start over?"

SAY THIS: "Yes, we need to start over, but you just saved us a lot of angry customers. Thank you."

NOT THIS: "It's not our problem. That's what the Quality team is for. We gotta make our numbers or else."

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How we respond to moments of vulnerability from our coworkers determines how strong and resilient our organizations become over time.

Beneath the veneer of composure lies a wealth of untapped potential for growth toward excellence. The stories we tell ourselves and our colleagues shape the culture of our organizations, influencing everything from innovation to employee retention. By fostering a culture of authenticity and connection, we not only make our teams more resilient but also pave the way for a more human, more inclusive workplace. So, next time you notice a coworker choosing vulnerability, choose gratitude, support and encouragement. Together, we can cultivate workplaces where no one's afraid to speak the ugly truth, which always opens the door to trust, teamwork, productivity, creativity, and innovation.

Peace,

Tony