Everyone should have a Martina

This past year, my colleague and I have been luckier than most - we were blessed with an organizational coaching course with Martina Gobec .

Martina is an amazing human being. She is so well in touch with her intuition, and easily picks up on other people. She also has an amazing background in (design) leadership, making her a fantastic coach.?

She is also surprisingly spiritual. I had not been expecting this when we signed her up for the coaching, but the way she brought in sounds from the outside world, or how she noticed the light shift, or even how she picked up on feelings or mood changes, just made absolute sense. Sometimes interventions from “the outside world” were exactly what was needed to break out of whatever it was we were wallowing in, helping us realize that whatever it was, maybe it wasn’t a big of a deal as we first thought.?

Our Designed Alliance

In our very first coaching session, we dove into our alliances. Which ones are we part of here, at the office, which ones enter and leave our office space (“ghosts”!), and which ones are relevant for us. We not only collaborate on the UX Copenhagen conference, we also talk a lot about the challenges we face in UX. We are both involved in the Danish UX community, we go to meetups and conferences together, and on top of it all, we now also have a deep friendship. With knowledge about all of our alliances and ghosts, we created a Designed Alliance.

Our designed alliance contains: Authenticity, fun, a sense of belonging, love for our field (UX), good energy, safety, friendship, trust, and honesty.?

Two months into the coaching, our Designed Alliance was shaken - a new person entered into our circle. Something that should have taken a burden from our shoulders became a real struggle. Lucky for us, we had Martina to carry us though, because it was surprisingly hard!

The Impact of our Work, and What It’s Worth

In another session, we dove into what impact our work has. My notes say “Making shit happen for the industry; building capacities. We change and uplift organizations, and help increase profit.”?

Still, not everyone embraces the value of what we bring. We discussed why we were so upset about this, and the surprising answer was that we really love what we do, and we love what our customers do. What we offer is professionalism, passion, importance, responsibility, and actually a lot of “motherly love” for our customers’ projects. After the session, it made absolute sense that we both felt offended if these weren’t reciprocated

This brought us to the discussion about what our work is worth, and helped us design some fixed prices for some of our services. It also helped us work at communicating our value as a company. It also made us take a hard look at our boundaries, and define what kind of projects we want, and which ones we don’t want to engage in. (PSA: Everyone should do this!)?

Hammertime

Early on, it was very apparent that both of us are (were) really good at taking blame, and figuratively hitting ourselves over the head about things we don’t think we’re good at. This went from “hitting ourselves over the head” to “hammer” to “Hammertime”, and every time we start to criticize ourselves, the other person starts singing “Hammertime”, or starts the dance, to get the other person to STOP! (Everyone should do this, too!!) ;)

The subtle art of saying NO

To summarize a long coaching session: We no longer want to try to evangelize UX, and will no longer be trying to convince non-believers to “convert” to UX. Nobody likes being told what to do, least of all ourselves!?

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Structures and Standards?

Martina also helped us become a lot more concrete with our work, helping us design things like:

• Concrete financial agreements
• Revenue stream
• “Standards” for tasks that repeat each year
• A "Parking Space" for great ideas that aren't feasible RIGHT NOW?

and many more. I’ve always been against structure and constraints, but once I started working with structures, I? realized how valuable they are. For a messy mind like mine, they’re absolute GOLD.?

Martina helped us structure our tasks, and delegate them to certain days. With a real structure in place, we were able to open our alliance and allow room for change.?

We also took a hard look at what my colleague and I are like as humans, and how well we supplement each other. Martina has never been critical, but she made us realize that I’m the energetic enthusiast that throws herself into the deep end of the pool while my colleague, on the other hand, is the slow, steady swimmer who will cross the pool one lap at a time. We both? knew that we complement each other really well, but with Martina’s help, we have really been shown that in combination, the two of us can move mountains.?

The Toxin Grid

We also had a session where Marina took us through a “Toxin Grid” that shows where we stand when things get rough. Do we lean towards defenselessness, blame, contempt, or stonewalling? I’m not going to lie, a few tears were shed. It has been so healthy for us to look at our patterns of reaction.?

Many of the things I learned with Martina honestly also apply to life in general, and aren’t only things I can use in my work.?

The Truth Teller

Probably one of the most important take-aways from this year of coaching with Martina has been the “2% truth”. We were going through a work situation that hit hard, and Martina delicately mentioned that when something really hurts, there’s usually a bit of truth to the situation. This was such an eye-opener! We learned to turn challenges into tools, strengths, and resources.?

We learned to PAUSE once in a while. Martina said “If one of you realizes that the other person is overwhelmed, the other one probably is too!”. To help avoid this, we put up a picture of Joey from Friends on the wall that says “How YOU doin’”, and it reminds us to ask each other once in a while.?

We also have a sticky note with a drawing of a pause button, and it’s totally ok to press it once in a while when one of us needs a break. Why? Because it’s essential for the system that we protect ourselves!*?

Flute Flies

A great example of an “intervention” during one of our coaching sessions: We were working on a particularly difficult client who complained about everything we were doing. The person was being a bit personal, and actually threatened us, so it was becoming a bit of a violent interaction. With Martina’s help though, we realized that the person was just a tiny “disturbance” in a project that was otherwise going well. The person went from being described as an aggressive baboon at the beginning of the session, to being reduced to a fruit fly. (There was an irritating fruit fly buzzing around the office, and the symbolism and analogy was just perfect.) Whoever said fruit fly, however, accidentally said “Flute Fly”, and the mood instantly changed from fear and concern (from the threat)? to peals of laughter and relief.?

We now also have a picture of a “Flute Fly” on the wall:

Martina has not only taught me a lot about how to be a great business owner, and manager, she has also taught me a lot about myself. I have a newfound belief that personal growth will lead to business growth. Everyone should have a Martina!!?

I am forever grateful, thank you, Martina! <3?

Contact Martina for coaching via her website: https://www.thoughtwardrobe.com/

Join Martina's Leadership Program: https://www.thoughtwardrobe.com/creative-catalyst

Book recommendations:?

Do-lectures and Do-books (https://thedobook.co/)