Everyone is Just Trying

Howdy LinkedIn,

I want you to know each and every working-class person, regardless of career experience, formal education, or success, is trying to figure out his/her/their stuff.

A stay-at-home mom/dad that wants to reenter the workforce?

Trying to figure it out.

A helpdesk technician that wants to become an offensive security expert?

Trying to figure it out.

A skilled tradesman finds that post-pandemic Target is paying more (Up to $24/hr as of Q2 2022) for stockers and register attendants, and that's before benefits?!?!

Trying to figure it out.

It's not just you...

As always, I'll be vulnerable and use myself as an example...

I used to think I wanted to be a professor, so I started a Ph.D. program, so I could be worthy of obtaining a faculty position. The difficulty isn't really an issue, and I've achieved a 4.0 GPA so far. However, COVID has been an "interesting" time, and I used it as an opportunity to experiment by teaching K12 while attending some graduate-level courses over the last couple of years. What I learned was that I lack the desire to be part of the formal educational system in a career capacity.

On the flip side: I do love helping people gain the skills, motivation, and confidence to succeed. This leaves me wanting to pursue several ventures: Teaching certification boot camps and self-guided courses. Authoring books on weird combos of interdisciplinary skills--my claim to fame. Authoring certification study materials. Publishing RFCs on several technical topics which lack maturity. Grab more certs [mostly just to study the exam construction at this point]. Speaking at conferences free from lofty BS. Free mentoring for adults changing careers--I'm infrequently helping about 10-15 people at present. These are things I'm excited about. These are things I want to do with my life.

This makes me sit here in the middle of another sleepless night, asking myself... should I quit? Does a Ph.D. support my best life? Do I really need a Ph.D. to accomplish any of these things? If I wasn't starting a heavy Ph.D. load in the fall again, could I finish my first educational book? [Something way more compelling to me at the moment.] Many questions...many goals...finite time.

Rewind: I feel I spent the first 10 years of my career working super hard to gain skills and experience, but in reality, I worked extra "free" salaried hours which added to my organization's bottom line, not mine. Example for rambles...

Exhibit A: Aria works for 34 hours per week for 10 years. She met the requirements for full-time employment, so she has 10 years of experience by obtaining 17,680 hours of experience.

Exhibit B: Donna works for 62 hours per week for 10 years. She met the requirements for full-time employment, so she has 10 years of experience by obtaining 31,200 hours of experience.

Here we can see how the concept of years of experience can be inaccurate and imprecise. Oh, well...at least I have the requisite 5 years of experience for entry-level cyber job postings [shots fired]...speaking of 5 years...

In the 5 years that followed the first 10, I've pushed out an MS in Cybersecurity and obtained 15+ certifications. I accomplished this by diverting the 22 extra hours (15 to studies. 7 to family.) To my greatest satisfaction, when I focused on myself, I was able to get ahead of the curve.

Back to Present: Now I have a meaningful, fair job that I want to supplement with my interests outlined above, but I'm spending most of my time and money outside of work on my Ph.D. I'm really not sure anymore. I'm a very practical, self-confident person. I don't need to be B Avenatti, Ph.D. What would a Ph.D. really afford me that my present credentials won't? I'm not sure.

So it's fair to say I'm lost in the woods in the middle of a journey. It has been my experience, that sometimes people leave you halfway through the wood [Stephen Sondheim]. Would it be wrong for me to do the quitting and focus on my more explicit interests? I'm not sure. I'm just trying to figure stuff out.

Best wishes and one love.

B Avenatti

https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/avenatti/

P.S. At times, I use incorrect punctuation, grammar, and text styling for effect, though I do make unintentional mistakes like every other human other than Elon Musk and Kim Jong-un.