Everyone has a story - Part 2

Thanks to all who shared their insights to the challenge I posted recently https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/everyone-has-story-we-prepared-listen-tony-stone

I'm happy to say there is strong alignment in people's views on ways to prepare for this training session. Time now to share back how the 3 days unfolded, most importantly how the first 10 minutes of the workshop played out...

Start time was 9am. The room was set up, and with 15 minutes spare, I scanned the plush interior of the council chambers. Each participant would be seated in a high backed leather studded chair around an equally impressive horseshoe shaped meeting table. Not my preferred venue at the best of times. I could only guess at what my learners might think of our setting for the next 3 days.

9am arrived, and the room was still empty.

I opened up the doors to the entry foyer and was greeted by the sight of 15 men aged between 20 and 55 milling around uncomfortably, some speaking in low voices, most silent and without expression. Clearly not a willing group of learners...

"Welcome and please come in" I called out, in as cheerful a tone as I could muster. Silently the group wandered into the council chambers, and I spotted several grins and rib digging as they settled into their respective chairs.

I had given my opening 'ice breaker' a lot of thought the night before. It wasn't complicated.

"Before we start" I began, "I have a question for you all."

"Who is not happy about being here today?"

Silence.

More silence.

I continued; "Seriously, given why you are here, who is not happy about having to come?"

The silence continued.

Just as I was seriously doubting the wisdom of this opener, the most unlikely participant saved the day.

John was significantly connected to a bike gang and he had no hesitation in staring me down as he posed the question back; "What the f**K do you think?"

The ball was firmly in my court. Every trainer reading this will relate to situations where a decision needs to be made on how to engage with a particular group of learners. I took a calculated punt and replied "I think you are all f*****ng p**sed off."

Fair to say the atmosphere had now changed significantly. I caught the faintest of half smiles across Johns face, and his 2 associates who had been put on notice when John made his announcement settled back into their chairs. We were making progress.

At that point I related back to the group what I understood about the 'back-to-work' program they were on, and then impressed on them that before we did anything, I wanted to hear their stories. The time was now 9:10.

What happened next had a profound impact on me. One by one each man spoke with little hesitation about the life events that had led to this unlikely gathering. Stories of hardship, loss, lack of opportunity, failure to connect with the education system, underlying mental health concerns, social disconnection, ageism and mistrust of the 'system'. Certainly some stories were couched in blame, but overwhelmingly over the 2 hours it took to hear every person, I was left with a much deeper empathy for their situations. I had to admit to myself I had gone into this job with scant understanding of the plight of long-term unemployed, and realised that sub consciously, I had formed a collective image of the participants that was a far cry from reality. And I told them this.

We broke for coffee, and I reflected on the opening session. I had a sense of privilege to have been let into these private worlds, especially as a representative of the very system that was failing (most) of them.

The next challenge was ahead of me. Where do we go from here? I had a session plan, but the morning discussion had touched on topics that made the idea of teaching 'Giving and receiving instructions' surreal if not plain absurd. Nonetheless, I had a responsibility to deliver this program.

As I write, I can see that unintentionally, this story is going to need a third instalment. I am grateful that you are still engaged, and will share the conclusion with you in Part 3...