Everyone has a mask, the question is for how long.

Lying to yourself can literally kill you. Think about this question, "Is my current version loyal to myself?". As the keynote speaker, I'm opening this talk today with this heavy sentence. It's a tricky one, isn't it? You might not have even ever made that question to yourself. Here's a little example of how to work out the dynamics:

Do I really like this?

How many things do I do following the "good citizen" ideals?

Do you tell your best friends your real ideas, or do you keep them away because you know they are opposite or different?

Hold your horses, no, this is not about getting out in the street and screaming naked that you love Nirvana or something like that. It's about understanding that we wear masks, and it's okay to have them, but we have to remember not to confuse our soul with other personalities that we adopt to survive in this strident world of prides.

Let's do a little exercise. Grab a piece of paper, the reverse side of a bill already works. Write three columns and title them: "Me public," "Me private," and "Only me." From now on, we are going to call this the "wall levels 1, 2, 3" (where 1 is the level you choose for everybody to know about you). Now write down in each category the groups of people with whom you share things at different depths of every wall level, for example:

It's hard to imagine with whom you would share very personal things, huh? We don't think about it until we see it written down. That's why I said that everyone wears a mask, and the question is for how long. Because since we live in a digital era, nobody wants to look weak or get disapproved from a social group for disclosing some level two or three information. If I were a secret agent, my job would be to become your best friend so that the sooner you would realize you're sharing level three information with me. And with that information, I could trade, threaten you, embarrass you, anything.

When people are about to die, they always share the same regrets. One of them is that they lived "somebody else's life," meaning that they haven't said or done something because of the fear of what people will say. The reality is that the only ones who are there to judge you are the ones who hate you, envy you, don't like you, and you've decided to behave your whole life in a way to please them? It doesn't make sense, right?

Here is one idea that will help you be yourself without pranking your soul:

• Accept and understand that masks are normal to use.
• Only wear one mask at a time. Don't trick your loved ones; don't trick yourself.
• Level 3 is ideal for one person (you), but if you have a balanced life with love and a good foundation, then three more people can get there. Choose wisely.
• Surprise, there is a level four, but that's your deepest black shame hole. Time to time, every human being must remember this scale and remember if what is hiding from level four is painful or needs to be cured.

Thanks,

R.

[email protected] / www.ramoncrespi.com