Not Everyone is Gonna Like You (or what you have to say)

A few years ago I gave a talk to a group of professionals and, as sometimes happens, things?didn't?go according to plan.?

The room was not set up as I requested and despite arriving early I did not have access to the stage and my handouts and slides were given out prior to me speaking hence robbing me of the element of surprise.

"Ah well" I thought - I'm a professional - soldier on!

?A week later I received the feedback. Here's a summary:

The large majority of participants gave me 5/5 for presentation and content.

Feedback included

• "Very lively, vibrant and good points presented"
• "Very accomplished speaker and presenter"

And one person out of the 55 who attended gave me 1/5 with the feedback: "Trite"

I think this is the first time in 20 years of presenting that I have ever received a score of 1/5.?

Which supports my theory: As a speaker you're putting yourself out there and not everyone is gonna like you or what you have to say!

In my experience, if you do a good job - you know your stuff and tailor it to the audience - here's what will happen:

• 75% will say: "That was great, I got something out of that, good job!"
• 20% will say: "OMG you rocked my world" (Yes, you got lucky and hit them with the right message at the right time.)
• And,?5% will say: "That sucked"

Why?

Well, maybe they ran over the cat on the way to your presentation. Maybe they feel they should be up there. Maybe they think you look too happy and confident. Maybe they were teased at school by someone who looks like you. Maybe they don't like you because you are a man, woman, young, older, they don't like the look of your hair, your beard or your skin. They think you should be slimmer, rounder, shorter or taller. Maybe they are just a 'Black hat' personality and don't like much at all!

So, here's your dilemma: Which feedback are you going to take on board? Which voice are you going to listen to??

Just to clarify...

I'm not suggesting that you ignore all feedback - we all need feedback to grow and develop. I have found that you can't please everyone and if you try, you'll end up pleasing no-one.?I see many people chasing that last 5% and in the process they lose the 95%.?

Many years ago I competed in the?international?speech competition for Toastmasters. I thought it'd be useful to get some feedback from participants at a speech evaluation workshop. There were 35 participants, and, you guessed it: I?received?35 different evaluations.

With all feedback I encourage people to ask?themselves:

• Does this fit in with who I am?
• Does this make me a better speaker and presenter?
• Do they have my best?interests?at heart?

And if you get three 'No's' in a row, I recommend you do a Taylor Swift, turn the music up loud, and?shake?it off!

? ******************

Footnote:?

The Merriam- Webster defines trite as 'Not fresh or original'

The reality is that there has been nothing new in public speaking since?Aristotle's writing on rhetoric over 2,300 years ago. You can read his excellent work on Ethos, Pathos and Logos here.?

You can read everything about anything on the Internet. My point is, is that it's not about the information - it's about the impact you make with your message. The person who gave me 1/5 did not relate to the way I delivered my message - and that's OK.?

You can't win all of the people over all of the time!