The Everyday Struggles of ADHD: My Biggest Challenges

Living with ADHD isn’t just about big challenges like career navigation; it’s the daily frustrations that can feel like constant hurdles. These are the things I hate most about my ADHD and how they impact my life:

1. Distracted During Conversations ADHD often makes it hard to stay present. In conversations, my mind wanders or takes off on tangents, leaving me frustrated when I miss important details. Worse, I sometimes interrupt impulsively, only to regret it later. And yes, people notice.
2. Losing Everything If I had a dollar for every time I lost my keys, wallet, or phone, I might recoup the costs of replacing them. Maybe. At least my credit cards always seem to get lost in the house instead of at stores (Thank you tap to pay!) ADHD makes organization feel like an uphill battle, and "misplacing things" isn’t just an occasional inconvenience—it’s a daily norm, and has been since my mom gave up on my keeping a house key and installed a lock box.
3. Time Blindness Time is slippery. Whether it’s underestimating how long tasks will take or completely losing track of time, I’m frequently caught off guard by deadlines or late arrivals (on good days, I’m super early, which has it’s own issues). This struggle contributes to what many call the “ADHD tax”—a combination of late fees, rush charges, and impulsive spending driven by lack of planning.
4. Impulsivity ADHD impulsivity goes beyond blurting out words; it extends to spending money or making rash decisions without considering long-term consequences. These moments can be socially, financially and emotionally draining.
5. The ADHD Tax These daily struggles come with real-world consequences. I spend more than necessary due to lost items, rushed decisions, or forgetting to cancel subscriptions. It feels like ADHD constantly has a hand in my wallet, draining resources unnecessarily.

How I’m Managing ADHD Without My Navy Village

In the Navy, I thrived because the structure was built in. Now, I’ve had to create my own “village” and routines to keep myself grounded. These strategies have made a difference:

1. Being Honest and Asking for Help I’ve learned to admit when I’m struggling. I tell colleagues and friends that I might lose track of time or need help staying on topic. By being open, I’ve found people are often willing to provide gentle reminders or support.
2. Rigorous Regimentation My phone is my lifeline, filled with alarms and reminders—everything from picking up my daughter to completing work deadlines. I’ve even scheduled small tasks like taking medications and preparing meals to ensure nothing slips through the cracks. It’s annoying to be a slave to a schedule, but when I fall off task, I really fall off task.
3. Landing Pads Everywhere Instead of just one spot for keys and essentials, I’ve created landing pads in every room of my house. This helps me avoid the panic of “Where did I put that?” as I move from task to task. The house keys always go on the same hook by the front door, even if I’ve comes in through the basement or back door, and the mail always goes onto the sideboard in the dining room.
4. Rationing Time When I’m faced with a task I dread, I break it into 10-minute increments. Setting a timer allows me to chip away at projects while avoiding overwhelm. You may have heard this called the “Pomodoro” method based on one person using a timer that was shaped like a tomato. I use my electronic assistant because I like the audible reminder - and sometimes I manage to be so caught up in the task that I add more time at the end. This won’t work as well if you are in an office setting, but there are many visual timers available that can do the same thing.
5. Body Doubling Body doubling—working alongside someone else, even virtually—has become a game-changer. I’ve joined a local moms’ ADHD group and sometimes use my daughter as a buddy for tasks. Apps and video calls work, but having another person there, even silently, keeps me accountable. I’ve found this is particularly effective with my clients who need a bit of help overcoming the ADHD overwhelm that stops us from even starting on a task. I may not be able to body double their whole task list, but I can help break it down into realistic and manageable chunks. The realistic part is important - when your time blindness intrudes on your task list and you think it will only take 30minutes to do a task that realistically needs an hour, you are setting yourself up for further frustration and overwhelm.

Conclusion: Overcoming ADHD’s Daily Challenges

ADHD introduces incredible challenges to daily life, but once you identify the struggles, there are tools to manage them. From alarms and body doubling to open communication, these strategies have helped me turn frustration into progress. ADHD doesn’t have to define your limits—it’s possible to harness your strengths and find solutions that lay the foundation for a successful, fulfilling path forward. (I’ll talk about those next, because while I’ve learned that many of my challenges are a direct result of my neurodiversity, so are many of my positive traits.)

By adapting to the unique challenges of ADHD, I’ve learned that the key isn’t perfection—it’s persistence and finding what works for you.? If you’d like some help finding your path, you can schedule a 30 minute initial consultation with me here: https://calendly.com/shanti_sethi/initial-consultation?fbclid=IwY2xjawG-u5VleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHZhCu7gzRU2sKZPBGi6vSdHdUceNOKHaaniITzyxnGsX8xq8VJgAwx9nPQ_aem_B2ucxTUixQOElEpgoCodCg&month=2024-12