Everyday Savage Lies That Destroy Your Potential
Tim Denning
Aussie writer with 1B+ content views in 10 years | I teach people to use writing online to create career opportunities | Let's connect: [email protected]
Awareness of these lies helps you avoid them.
We all tell ourselves some form of lie throughout our life. Lies are convenient; they are good excuses; they are dream snatchers; they are often hidden from plain sight — in the lies you tell, is the potential you are missing out on.
Lies confirm or deny your beliefs about life.
Lies say yes or no to opportunities that you’re presented with.
Once you can get a grip on the lies you tell yourself, you can prove them wrong and stop them from holding you back — and experience a level of fulfillment that you may never have encountered.
Here are some common lies we tell ourselves:
“Someday” fallacy
Putting off taking action today and replacing it with the ugly word “someday” is really just the failure to accept that someday is never going to come.
If the person you deem to be the coolest person in the world asked you t take tomorrow to come and hang out with them, would you say no?
If your idol is Richard Branson and he asked you to be at his place tomorrow at 2 pm for coffee and scones, would you not take action right now?
Of course you’d take action because the request is something that is important to you. Rather than continually put off tasks and dispose of them into the “someday” recycle bin of your life, be bold and either take action on them right now or accept that you never will.
Your dreams happen today, not someday.
“Not ready”
We are never ready to do anything, let alone a task that is uncomfortable.
I have been asked to speak at an event and I’m not ready. I don’t feel like bearing my soul for the audience and sharing a few failures. Right now it feels better to sit at home in my warm office and write articles such as this one with a warm cup of Chai Tea and a smile on my face.
But saying “I’m not ready to speak at this event” is rejecting the growth that will come from this uncomfortable task, which to be frank, I’m a little out of practice with.
No matter how many times you do public speaking, it’s never comfortable. There’s always some guy or gal in the front row with an angry look on their face who hates every word you spit, and it affects your mindset until you speak with them and realize it was there resting bitch face all along and they actually loved your speech (true story).
I was never ready to become a writer or speak on anyone’s stage — let alone in a room of people ten times smarter than I will ever be.
How do you become ready?
You prepare as best as you can, embrace the uncertainty, accept you’ll never be ready, and understand that in everything you do — which is outside of your current realm of belief — is a level of growth that will propel you beyond your circumstances and unlock your untapped potential.
It’s a pleasure to be given an opportunity you are not ready for and if someone is happy to take that risk on you when they probably shouldn’t, take it unapologetically.
Be glad you are not ready and show up anyway.
“Need experience”
There is no magical line you cross that says you have enough experience to pursue a goal. Experience is never-ending; there is always another level to reach and that is what keeps life exciting amigo!
I wrote my first article with no experience and a belief that I was a complete failure. It made no difference whatsoever.
“Taking action outperforms your lack of experience”
Experience is a lie that was sold to us by the resume gods who worshipped experience and ignored mindset. Experience can be gotten, but mindset is something that is not so easily attainable.
You don’t need experience; you need the right mindset to go out there with zero experience and take action anyway.
“Never done it before”
Me neither.
I hadn’t walked on fire because I was afraid of it due to a childhood burn.
I hadn’t dealt with mental illness before because I had no idea what it was.
I hadn’t experienced the loneliness of leaving a company I loved until I did it.
There are many things you have never done and until you do them, you won’t know if you like them, or better yet, whether they contain wisdom that ends up leading to your eventual success.
Don’t spit in the face of uncertainty and aim to do more things you’ve never done before. Seek out one new goal per week that you can achieve which you have never done before.
Search these unknown experiences for hidden skills and experiences you’ve never had. And if nothing else, enjoy the escape from normality to a place you have never been before. You might be surprised where it takes you.
“It’s too risky”
Everything you do in life is risky. Going for a walk tonight is statistically very risky because you could get hit by a car even when you’re careful.
Your phone could distract you for a split-second, a drunk driver driving a police car could hit you (happened to a high school friend of mine), a tree could fall down in a strong wind and squash you like a tomato. There are so many risks, even in the most mundane tasks, like walking.
When you take risks, you experience growth.
The key is not to take stupid risks; it’s to take calculated risks. Take risks that you have thought about and do what Richard Branson and Tony Robbins do in business: cap your downside. Sway the opportunity in your favor so that the chance of success is disproportionally higher than the chance of failure.
Branson did this when he bought a bunch of planes to start his airline and negotiated with his supplier Boeing that he could return the planes if the business failed. That’s how you practically cap the downside.
“I have a mortgage to pay”
And most of the people you are surrounded by have a mortgage to pay as well. Owning a home shouldn’t stop you from achieving your dreams.
If anything, having a mortgage should give you the extra motivation you need to push past the no’s, experience the rejection and keep going rather than giving up.
A home is a beautiful place you get to enjoy and in many parts of the world, homeownership is nothing more than a dream that statistically will never be realized. Having a mortgage is not a burden; it’s a privilege you should be grateful for.
Yes you have to pay your mortgage just like renters have to pay their rent. It’s no different and a mortgage is not an excuse to give up on life or think that you can’t have big dreams too.
“I am not different”
Being different is overrated.
Too many people are walking around thinking they need to be the Purple Cow of their industry or chosen field instead of being happy being the black and white cow that everybody knows and respects.
One of the reasons I have been able to make a living as a writer is because I talk in a way (so I’m told) that is relatable and makes sense to the average person. I also use simple English so that if English is not your first language, you can still understand most of what I’m saying.
The need to be different is nothing more than an excuse.
We all have our uniqueness and quirks. On the other hand, we are all the same because we’re human and are born to suffer, and hopefully, we learn to live with that destiny and find a way to thrive because of it.
Final thought
Cut the excuses once and for all and discover that part of yourself that is found when you start telling yourself the truth. The truth is you can do anything and be anybody you want.
Your excuses are pissing away your precious time and it’s about time you decide today to discard them once and for all.
You get to decide what you become, so choose a path and move forward.
Building client-centric cultures & capabilities to drive exponential long-term growth.
5 年Loved "Experience is a lie that was sold to us by the resume gods who worshipped experience and ignored mindset."
Mostly back from my hiatus, I will be ignoring quazi audio events, as well, I will be leaving notifications off on my phone. I will be around as called to. Focusing on "My enchanted life of misunderstood miracles."
5 年Everyone has a reason not to, but why can't we create our own reason why to move forward with our dreams. We all have our dreams and they are valid but we will never know if anyone else agrees if we dont try. There has never been a time like this one, in history, where one person can impact so much change. Thank you Tim Denning
Certified Cybersecurity Analyst | International Business and Marketing
5 年Amazing!?Tim Denning?
Certified Resume Writer & Personal Branding Strategist ? Elevate your career with IPAC
5 年Thank you for this so uplifting article. I think that the more we grow the more we become afraid of doing things for the first time. And that becomes a hindrance for our personal development. There's a kind of need for safety; we can't bear the sensation of not knowing if what we are doing is right, so we stay doing always the same things we consider we are good at.
Executive Administrator | Activator | Maximizer | Communicator | Connector
5 年Awesome Good Tim Denning Article. Our Fears and Lies Hold Us Back.