Every stranger has a story: what a made-up word can teach us about crafting better brand narratives

I fell in love with a new word the other day.

Well, it’s not actually a real word. It comes from John Koenig’s Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. And I stumbled across it via episode #32 of the All Good Copy podcast.

The word is sonder.

Koenig created it to encapsulate a fundamental human truth – every stranger has a story.

This is the full definition as it appears in Koenig’s dictionary:

Sonder

n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own - populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness - an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

This poetic and, quite frankly, brilliant notion perfectly illustrates something every copywriter must hold front and centre when crafting a brand’s story.

See, most businesses fall into the trap of thinking their brand story is literally the story of their brand. Easy mistake, considering the terminology.

Your brand does, in fact, have many stories to tell. The one about why your business exists. The one about how and when it started. And those that happen behind the curtain – the faces, the moving parts and the processes that are your magician’s secrets.

Problem is, none of these stories matter all that much to your customers. Unless, of course, they do. Mostly they won’t.

From your customers’ perspective, your brand’s story only really begins at the precise moment you show up in their story. And it’s likely just a walk-on part with a single line of dialogue.

It is absolutely possible to steal that scene, but you’ll have to play that supporting role like your life depends on it. And you’d best believe your brand’s life does depend on it.

So how can you pull that off, while still positioning your customer as the hero of the story?

Easy…ish.

Cast yourself as the catalyst for their success. Show how the ‘thing’ your business offers moves their narrative forward.

It’s not that you can’t tell those other stories; all the who, what, why, when and hows. But, when you do, be sure to link them back to your customer’s story:

• How will your 20-year history help them solve their problem right now?
• What great qualities does your origin story illustrate. And, more importantly, what benefits/advantages do those qualities offer your customers?
• How does your way of doing things make their lives easier?
• What superpowers do your team members possess that your customers ‘borrow’ when they choose your brand?

Of course, the concept of sonder begs us to understand that our customers’ stories are as unique as fingerprints; a distinct combination of possible experiences, thoughts and feelings. So, how do you write a brand chapter that can be tucked seamlessly into any book within an entire library’s worth of epic personal narratives?

You look for the intersection where all their stories overlap.

Going back to the definition Koenig offered, think about your customers’ “ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness”.

While, of course, each of us is a special snowflake, all your customers have some things in common. For a start, they need your products or services for some reason. Beyond that, consider what’s happening in their collective external and internal worlds.

Remember, while it’s easy enough to gather information on their external experiences – age, location, habits, expressed problems etc – you’ll have to dig deeper to understand their internal ones – their desires, whatever base survival instincts are at play, their unexpressed problems and fears.

Once you truly understand who your customers are and what they’re going through when you walk into their lives, you’ll know how to tell them your story.

Which is, after all, their own.

Sonder is a word we all needed, yet simply hadn’t realised was missing. For me, it represents the first step towards compassion; understanding that all lives and experiences are meaningful and interconnected. And if ever there was a time when taking a more compassionate approach to business was in order, it’s now.

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