Every Interaction Signals A Perception

At one point in my career, I had a staple event going that my team coveted. It was called The Baller's Dinner. These events morphed into Baller's Breakfasts, Baller's Lunches, and more. It was a way for me to take a group of top performers out to an expensive meal, learn what was happening in the organization and the team, and get to know them. They all thought they were getting rewarded for their top performance, but I was actually picking up the tab on two hours of learning opportunities.

These events were always a blast. I would fly into a market where we had an office and pick a new restaurant to enjoy with the team. If I didn't mention, I love to eat expensive meals on the company dime anyway, so it was a win-win! Someone has to use that expense account, and it might as well be me!

These meals allowed me to learn so much about my team, too. After all, I was there with top performers who had just come off a record-breaking month or were consistently performing. They were hand-picked by their managers to attend and to get the exposure they were seeking.

Inevitably, I learned a lot about my team in these interactions, and the perceptions were formed from a brief period of time together.

The best was when people were late to dinner or breakfast. Now I get it; these were major metropolitan cities, and I always wanted to give people the benefit of the doubt. Atlanta is a big place, and it can take an hour to go a few miles. But if you were going to attend this coveted event, I would think you wanted to be on time.

If you were late, it just threw off the rhythm of the event, and it sent the wrong signal. You showed up when we had already started ordering cocktails and appetizers, and you missed quite a bit.

Being late wasn't a sin, though; it was how someone showed up after being late.

One particular morning, I had breakfast with a group of people in Dallas. The breakfast was supposed to start at 9, but one individual walked in at 9:45 and didn't say a word about being late, didn't even come up with a good excuse, and just brushed it off like it was no big deal.

When I lived in Dubai, it was customary to be 45 minutes late to everything, but this was Texas, a place about as far away from Dubai as it gets.

The second a person was late to a meal with me, I had some feelings about it.

It?wasn't a career-limiting event, but it wasn't great for me to leave that meal thinking that if you can't show up on time with me, how would you approach other events or client-facing opportunities?

It's safe to say I created a perception about you if you couldn't make it on time.

Another bad signal that would get sent was how you interacted with the servers. For the most part, we were always eating in high-end steakhouses with white linen tablecloths. All servers command a level of respect. I don't care if you're at a diner or a Michelin-star restaurant, but if you're out at a business dinner with your boss's boss and your peers while celebrating your success, you should show up with a certain level of respect. If you were rude, short, or even a bit condescending, I heard it. I filed it away, and I probably didn't invite you back.

It's safe to say I created a perception about how you handled people, too.

Your dress attire said something as well. I've picked top-notch restaurants that serve $24 Martinis, only to have one of my salespeople walk in wearing shorts and flip-flops. I'm sorry, Craig, but I don't want to see your toes while I'm buttering my $9 bread. If you couldn't put on something decent for dinner, how were you going to handle that client meeting next month on the road?

It's safe to say I created a perception about how people would dress for these events.

And of course, last but certainly not least, if I had stopped after two or three drinks, and someone kept ordering them like it was an all-inclusive resort with free cocktails, that wasn't a great sign. I once had to cut a guy off from ordering his sixth beer. I know I don't sound like I'm very fun, but I promise I am. It's just that these events are highly monitored in corporate life, and first of all, if anything were to happen, I'm responsible for this individual. Second, what the hell are you doing drinking six beers at a top performer's dinner?!

It's safe to say I created a perception about how you handle yourself in public.

Perceptions are reality, and they are being created at all times. I guarantee you that nobody knew or realized how much I observed, learned, and heard during these dinners. After all, they were just Baller's Dinners with Scott. But I learned more than I ever would have learned through 1:1 meetings in the office.

Be careful what perceptions you are giving off, and who is observing you at the same time.

If you enjoyed this article, I write daily on Patreon.com/scottbond, I host a podcast, I run a Discord community and I genuinely want to help inspire and influence your career. Sure, it's $5 a month, but you spent more than that on an iced oat milk latte today.

by Scott Bond