Every Conscious Black Needs to Be in Therapy

Today is #WorldMentalHealthDay. To acknowledge the day, I would like to share an excerpt from my essay, "Every Conscious Black Needs to Be in Therapy," which is part of the collection of essays in my book, "The Joy of the Disinherited."

Although time has passed, I have not forgotten what it feels like to be depressed. I am hopeful that sharing this excerpt will shed some light on the challenges of overcoming depression.

“One day, I decided to go to my primary care physician for help. I told him, “I am not feeling myself.” I told him I was having trouble staying motivated for the simplest of tasks. That my patience was as thin as ice, cracking under the smallest of slights. That my sleep was erratic, as was my concentration. My doctor suggested that I “see someone.” He handed me a seven-page printout with three columns of therapists’ names on each sheet. My selection process consisted of closing my eyes, tracing my finger down a page, and calling the therapist whose name I’d unwittingly pointed to.

When I didn’t click with the first therapist, I repeated this exercise. I repeated it again and again and again. I saw white therapists and Black therapists, young and old, faith-based and agnostic, and each time found myself weighed down by the exhausting task of having to convince them of the importance of my experience in the world as a Black man.

The act of telling my story over and over was exhausting. Each time I left a session, I felt worse than when I arrived. I kept thinking, surely this is not how I am supposed to feel. Some days, it was incredibly difficult to even get out of bed to make my way to see a therapist. One time, I was late to a therapy appointment due to D.C. subway delays.

When I finally made it to the office, the therapist told me that I would need to wait until our next appointment to talk because she had a client scheduled after me and there was not enough time left. I quietly accepted her words, and then excused myself to the bathroom where I cried before making the return trip home on the subway to the safety of my basement.”

"The Joy of the Disinherited" is available in all formats and everywhere books are sold including at Amazon, Walmart and on Audible.

Please visit www.kevindedner.com to learn more.