Every change requires a death...

“Every change requires a death of some kind”

~Joseph Campbell

I’ve been thinking about this a lot as it’s come up in some conversations with clients recently and reflecting on this premise:

Success comes as much from what you don’t do as from what you must do.

Think about it…

Think of a time when you were at peak productivity, generating your best results…

What were your daily habits like?

What SACRIFICES had you made to make room for those new habits or actions?

If you were getting back in shape, maybe you’d given up:

• an extra hour of sleep in the morning or?
• that extra episode of “Indian Matchmaker” the night before so you can get to the gym before your day starts
• Fast food, ice cream, carbs, etc… in exchange for cleaner, healthier options

These examples are easy because they’re so obvious. But they’re a great place to start because they get us looking at our behaviors and our choices. Obvious is what we’re looking for.

Things tend to get trickier when we’re pushing further out of our comfort zone, such as changes that involve:

• Other people - Close relationships, Colleagues, etc.
• Money - requires an investment? = RISK
• Putting yourself “out there” (IOW “opening yourself up to judgment from others)

For example, imagine you’re leading a team you know could be getting better results…

Are you avoiding a tough conversation because you’re afraid of stepping on some toes or being seen as the “bad guy” or “the villain”?

Do you have ideas that could improve efficiency or affect big change but you don’t speak up because you’re afraid of looking foolish or opening yourself up to criticism?

Or maybe you’re wanting to move up but you’re avoiding asking for that promotion because…

Yep, it’s always FEAR. D’uh, right?? Of course. But Why??

Well sure, we all have unique strengths and weaknesses. But we also all have our own set of beliefs, both unconscious and conscious. And it’s our beliefs that ultimately give rise to our behaviors.

Our unconscious beliefs are much harder to identify. Also “d’uh”, right?

But they’re also the BIG ONES that have the greatest influence over how we feel, what we think, and the actions we take in response to those thoughts and feelings.

Beliefs like:

• I’m not worthy
• I’m not capable
• I’m powerless
• I’m not safe?

We all have them, usually a combination of them but with one CORE belief…

And they’re established - usually in early childhood - to keep us safe. That’s right, they exist to protect us!!?

So when we go for things we want that are a stretch for us, we challenge these beliefs.

Because to our ego-based identity this kind of change would mean… DEATH!!

Seriously, to the ego, it’s that real. Hence the fear.

And that causes an unconscious freak out: “NO WAY!” that results in procrastination, “playing small”, and any other form of avoidance.

The truth is, there is a death required to make the change we want… a SACRIFICE!

(Not a blood sacrifice, unless… Idk man, do your thing.)

If our current circumstances and level of success is a result of our behaviors and choices up to now, then…

To create better circumstances, more success, more money, or anything that represents a new level to us…

We have to become someone new.

And that means letting go of the old ways and the old “self” we’ve been up to now.

Unconscious beliefs are hard to see in ourselves (difficult, not impossible). But we can start with what we can see and that is our behaviors and actions.

A simple question you can try out anytime you’re working on creating some big change for yourself is:

“Is what I’m doing now getting me closer to or further away from where I want to go?”

And if the answer is “No”, then ask:

“What is the obvious next step for me to take to get there?”

One thing I’m certain of is that to reach your Land of Plenty, you’re gonna have to drop some of that baggage. ??