Every Breath I Took

Every Breath I Took

In December of 2015, I was scammed by a sophisticated network of "bad actors," and lost more than $45,000.

Even now, years later, it feels surreal to write that sentence out. But back then, the terror, confusion, and absolute loneliness were all-consuming. For over 10 hours, I was handled like a puppet, completely isolated and manipulated.

Back then, cyberattacks and identity theft weren’t really on my radar. I wasn’t the most cautious person, and in hindsight, I was an easy target.

I was alone in our Shanghai apartment when I received a phone call from what I thought was a courier service. They said they needed to deliver an urgent package, but the call quickly turned into something else entirely. Somehow, I ended up talking to people claiming to be from a bank, then the police. I can’t even remember how I got passed from one voice to another. By the end of it, I had spoken to at least five different people.

It sounds absurd when I say it now. How did I fall for this? But this was social engineering, I now know. They figured out how to play on my emotions from the start and kept me on a string the whole time.

They told me I was under investigation and that the police were on their way to arrest me. They claimed my bank accounts were compromised and that I needed to cooperate to avoid jail time. They knew my name, my address—details that made everything feel more real. I was too scared to think clearly, and gave them even more information about me.

They never let me off the phone. They told me I couldn’t talk to anyone. They made me believe they were watching me, like I was being stalked.

Every move I made, every breath I took, they convinced me they were right there.

For 10 straight hours, they kept me on the phone or texting. I was exhausted, my mind racing with fear. At times, I could barely think straight. Every minute felt like an eternity, and yet I couldn’t see a way out. I was completely trapped.

I remember it quite vividly when these bad actors started to leave me alone. It was when I went to HSBC to try to withdraw several thousand dollars, but the bank would not let me. Thank goodness for their security measures! I recall telling my "captors" that I couldn't access the funds.

Around 5 PM, I headed back to the apartment and took a long, hot shower. And that was when the veil lifted from my eyes and I had the crushing realization what had just happened to me.

It was all a scam. The money was gone.

The shame was suffocating. How could I have fallen for this? I felt humiliated and devastated. I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone. I was so embarrassed, convinced that no one would understand how I could be so gullible.

Looking back, I realize that my ignorance about cyberattacks and identity theft made me vulnerable. But I also recognize that the isolation and fear were what allowed them to maintain control. It took me a long time to stop blaming mysyelf for what had happened.

I’m sharing my story to let you know that none of us are alone, for better or for worse. Social engineering is powerful. It’s not just about technology—it’s about people. It’s about understanding the tactics that attackers use to manipulate and isolate. And it's about not being afraid to call for help when you feel MOST alone.

If you are ever in a situation and something feels "off," trust your intuition and don't do it alone!

Cherenet Assefa

N.A Business Ventures

2 周

Great advice!!!

Jason C.

EMBA (Honours) | B.Sc. Economics & Management | Dipl.-Ing. (chem)

2 周

Social engineering will be increasingly used to get the payload through, as technical routes get increasingly patched. I can relate to this experience even though I was in my home country when it happened to me. Porous borders and nefarious intent have placed such bad actors at our doorstep. I guess when mama said not to speak to strangers, it still very much applies. Zero trust model, in cyberparlance. ??

Destiny Owobu

Aspiring Data Scientist I Entrepreneur I Teacher | Small Business Consulting

2 周

Thanks for sharing. In 2016 I was targeted for such social engineering and fraud. Luckily I had some friends who worked in the organization they claimed to be working for. I took their numbers and sent a mail to the organization detailing what they said and the phone numbers they were using to reach me. I contacted the police and they were arrested at the point of collecting the one million naira they requested from me. I was saved by a friend. You are right, they use isolation, giving you less time to think.

Thank you for being so open and strong. Your story will help others feel less alone. I remember you sharing this when it happened. It’s hard to imagine the depth of fear and loneliness you must have felt—so far from home. But the way you’ve shared it with such honesty and vulnerability is nothing short of courage. I have definitely witnessed your strength through the years. You’re absolutely right: social engineering isn’t just about technology—it’s about people, emotions, and fear used as weapons. Your words are a powerful reminder that no one is immune, and more importantly, no one should face those moments alone.

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