Ever feel like a fraud in business?

Let me tell you about a friend of mine. She’s normally really strong. Solid. Steady. And way into being positive.

So when I got the “SOS” call and follow-up emails from her telling me she needed my support….I jumped at the chance.

This isn’t a client. This is a colleague known for her strength and ability to lead and inspire others. And she was beating herself up because she felt like she was a fraud.

We’ve all had those creepy thoughts where we look around and notice that things in our lives or business aren’t working perfectly. Most people would let it go, but for those whose mission is to teach and be an example….sometimes having a ‘mess’ in some areas takes a bite out the integrity of walking our talk.

These were the two mistakes my friend was making:

1. Using the Law of Attraction to beat herself up.

2. Looking at one slice in time and thinking that it represented the whole picture.

Let’s have a chat about these two because they can be painful if you get in the mindset loop of self-doubt.

My friend had something go wrong with a vendor. There was a mistake, but the vendor cleaned it up. A few other things happened, so she looked at these probably unrelated incidents and made the decision that surely she must be repelling success and money.

So by the time we chatted, she was convinced that she had no right to teach, was a major fraud, and couldn’t do anything right. Yup…she was right in the middle of one of those big, fat, shame spirals. You know the ones that make you look around and ONLY see evidence of what’s wrong.

And the more she tried to convince me that she had no right to teach because some ‘stuff’ wasn’t working perfectly well, the more I saw the beauty and could reframe that her message for people had to be how to rise above the muck. Instead of saying, “I can be a leader WHEN all is handled and in perfect order,” I encouraged her to talk about how to lead in the middle of pain and confusion. That’s the maturity, the spiritual growth, and the authenticity that throws that fraud-feeling on its head.

I also showed her it was a temporary situation, because really….she’s very successful financially, and so one deal lost is not the totality of her business life.

She flipped instantly and embraced her ‘not so shiny’ self being put out in the world. In fact, she wrote a blog about it. And I know she’ll take this lesson into the powerful work she does with people. Truthfully, I think she needed this lesson, because aren’t there times in all of our lives where we look around and say, “Yikes…this is NOT what I want to be happening.” There’s no stopping Life when things go wrong, but there is the ability to stop the negative voice in our heads. And that is the #1 job of the successful business owner.

Now it’s your turn….

• What stories are you telling yourself that are hurting you?
• Where do you only see one part of the picture that is harming your ability to be big and bold in the world?
• What’s the long view you can take to see things in a better perspective?
• How can you see the perfection in the situation if things do fall apart from time to time?

When you can answer and move through those four questions…you will no longer fall into the “Oh no, what if I’m a fraud” syndrome.

Feel free to share your ideas about why we often feel fraudulent and what you do to get out of that space.