Ever Blurted Out Something and Thought, 'Oh No, Why Did I Say That?' Here’s the Solution!

We’ve all been there—midway through a job interview, a networking event, or a sales pitch, and suddenly a thought creeps in: “Oops, that didn’t come out right!”

If you’ve ever felt this way, don’t worry—you're not alone. Let me share some simple observations to help you avoid these moments. Let’s break it down into three parts:

1. Signaling: What Are You Saying Without Words?
2. Why We Mess Up: Root Cause Analysis
3. Reasoning & How to Communicate Effectively

1. Signaling: What Are You Saying Without Words?

Did you know that most communication doesn’t come from the words we say? About 93% of it comes from body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. But here’s the tricky part: knowing what to signal.

Key Insight:

Honesty, empathy, and integrity are the cornerstones of meaningful communication. If your words don’t align with your true intentions, people can sense it, especially in situations like interviews or dates. Authenticity is key—without honesty, trust can’t be built. Women, in particular, are skilled at picking up on mixed signals, so it’s crucial to be real in every interaction.

Empathy helps you connect by showing genuine care for others' feelings, fostering stronger bonds. Integrity ensures your actions match your words, building reliability and trust. Leading with honesty, empathy, and integrity creates an environment of mutual respect, where everyone benefits.

Takeaway: Be real and intentional with your signals. It’s better to say less and mean it than to try to impress people with stories that don’t add up.

2. Why We Mess Up: Root Cause Analysis

Most conversational slip-ups happen for two reasons:

• Needs: You seem desperate.
• Ego: You try too hard to impress.

When NEEDS Take Over        

In a high-stakes job interview, the interviewer asks:

“Why do you want to work with us?”

A need-driven response might be:

“Well, I’ve been looking for a role that aligns with my experience, and I’m eager to join a reputed organisation like yours. I’ve been between roles for a while now, and this opportunity is very important for me to get back on track.”

While this answer is sincere, it raises red flags.

• Problem 1: It shifts the focus to your need for stability, not your ability to contribute to their goals.
• Problem 2: It might make them question whether you’re the right match for a leadership position, as desperation can signal a lack of confidence.

Better Response

“My experience in [specific area] aligns perfectly with your focus on [specific challenge or goal]. For example, at [previous company], I led [specific initiative], achieving [measurable result]. I’m excited to contribute here by driving [specific outcome] while further developing in [specific area].”

Why This Works

·??????? Focuses on Value: You’re not just looking for a job; you’re presenting yourself as a solution to their challenges.

·??????? Subtle Confidence: There’s no hint of desperation—you demonstrate expertise and excitement about mutual success.

·??????? Mutual Benefit: You align your career goals with the company’s vision, framing the role as a partnership.

When EGO Takes Over (Social Meeting Example)        

Imagine you’re at a networking event, and someone shares: “I just got invited to speak at an international conference on [topic].”

An ego-driven response might be: “Oh, that’s nice. I’ve been invited to several conferences myself, including one where I was the keynote speaker. It’s always a great experience!”

This shifts the focus to you, making the other person feel overshadowed or dismissed.

Better Response

“That’s incredible—congratulations! International conferences are such a fantastic platform. What’s your topic going to be about? I’d love to hear more about your experience.”

Why This Works

It shows genuine interest and encourages them to share more about their success, creating a positive and engaging conversation without downplaying their achievement.

3. Reasoning & How to Communicate Effectively

Confidence and positivity are your best friends in any interaction. Here’s the magic formula:

1. Show that you’re content with where you are—whether in your career, life, or personal goals.
2. Express how the other person, job, or opportunity could enhance your journey.

This approach flips the dynamic. Instead of appearing dependent or needy, you project partnership. The other person sees value in connecting with you—not because you need them, but because together, you could create something even better.

Conclusion: Build Partnerships, Not Dependencies

Whether you’re at an interview, on a date, or pitching an idea, your goal is to create a sense of mutual value. When you show confidence and positivity, you shift the focus from “What can I get?” to “What can we achieve together?”

This approach builds trust and fosters equality in interactions. When both parties feel they have something to gain, conversations become more authentic, enjoyable, and productive.

So next time you’re in a conversation, remember: confidence, clarity, and authenticity are your winning trio.