Event + Response = Outcome
Let me begin with a story...
Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village money-lender. The money-lender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer’s beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer’s debt if he could marry his daughter.
Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money-bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
Condition set was - If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven. If she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
They were standing on a pebble-strewn path in the farmer’s field. As they talked, the money-lender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.
Here are three possible responses
1. Refuse to pick a pebble from the bag.
2. Take both pebbles out of the bag and expose the money-lender for cheating.
3. Pick a pebble from the bag well knowing it was black and sacrifice herself for her father’s freedom
The girl paused...
Here is what the girl did
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and picked out one pebble. And dropped it onto the ground (full of pebbles) before anyone could see the colour of the one she picked and the pebble immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
“Oh, how clumsy of me!” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.”
The old man did not dare to reveal that he cheated in the first place and therefore had to extinguish the debt without a bride in return. Thus the girl's wise-response turned the situation to her advantage
Regardless of any event, response plays a key role in determining the outcome. Event will always be out of our control but response will always be in our control. To be exact, the power lies in choosing the right response.
Ability to choose right response comes from having the space between event and reaction. And during this space, creativity, and intuition will come up with a solution. The choice of response can make us either bitter or better.
Under the same set of conditions, some people break the records and some people break themselves. If we choose right response regardless of any event, we can break the records. On the contrary, If we choose wrong response, we are bound to break ourselves.
Perspectives are invited and greatly appreciated!
VP Process Improvement / Sales & Training at Rose Timmer & Associates
4 年I like the reference to the higher currency as we often miss that in our human response, with results that are often not so stunning!
Test Specialist
4 年Fantastic..
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4 年Sorry for being so tardy to comment on this really nice piece Shivaraj Naregal ! First, Two is better than one - be alert so you can help someone. She was the only one who noticed two black pebbles were picked up and loaded. She was the only one that observed a black pebble falling into the sea of black & white pebbles. If one other person had noticed two black pebbles being picked up then the problem she faced would’ve been easily avoided since she would’ve had a witness. Gamble - if one alert person would’ve noticed the black pebble descending in flight towards the ground her hint of ‘quick-thinking payback’ deception would’ve been exposed. Lesson - Wisdom with a whiff of deception is still deception. She had a legit issue with marrying this man in this way. Joseph had a legit case to walk away when he found out Mary was pregnant with a child & we know how that story ended because a child was born & became our Savior. Sacrifice is low currency on the list of our values yet lies high on God’s list. True wisdom is seeking the higher currency of God & not men.
Environment Consultant (Freelance)
4 年A simplistic approach to a very difficult problem. Because many times an event is more complex and to provide a fitting response becomes very difficult. In addition we can't expect many to be as smart as the lady. There are two aspects to the response. Firstly keeping in view a common man who invariably may land up in a bad response because he is neither smart or as intelligent as the lady. This is the real cause of all our problems in our daily life. Secondly we should also think of a remedial action in case our response is not very good. Sometimes the damage could have been done by the time we think of an remedial action. In brief all said and done happiness or sorrow are two sides of the same coin. Sometimes we win and sometimes we may lose. But to think for a moment before we deliver our response will go a long a way in making our life more meaningful, happy and beneficial to the society at large. Incidentally similar issues are also dealt and addressed in therapy workshops famously known as rational emotive therapy. Good thoughts. Hope to see more such thought provoking ideas. You look quite committed to bringing about positive changes in society with focus on peace, harmony and well being. Right?