Even if you are unhappy, dissatisfied, and so-over your job, please don’t say these things at work

 Jack J. Kelly    Career Advice, compliancex  

By Jack J. Kelly 

My articles tend to focus on offering interviewing and career advice to people with a healthy dose of self-improvement, motivation, and humor thrown into the mix. As an Executive Recruiter for over 20 years, I regularly speak with hiring managers and human resource professionals, which provides me with first-hand knowledge of what they seek in candidates — that I will gladly pass on to you, my faithful readers (with good taste, sophistication, and high IQs)!

Also, I pick-up on the behaviors and attitudes of employees that they absolutely abhor. These hiring managers often share the challenges they face with their employees to me. And sometimes they are close to showing them the door because they are just not a good cultural fit. It reaches a point internally, where HR recognizes that this employee is just not getting it, no matter how many times they have tried to remedy the situation. The employee has no motivation and is resistant to change. It is not uncommon for my firm to receive a call to fill a position currently held by someone. The entire process is awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved. I thought it may be helpful to share what I have learned from managers and human resources professionals, so that you don’t engage in these types of behaviors.

To put things into perspective, I talk to about 15 to 20 plus managers a day. Yes, I am one of the few dinosaurs that still make and take phone calls. If you multiply a conservative 15 people a day times five days a week times 52 weeks a year multiplied by 20 years, that’s roughly a million people (give or take a few hundred thousand). Okay, my math skills are lacking! That’s why I’m a recruiter and fledgling writer and publisher and sending my son to Drexel University to learn accounting, so he could make sure that I don’t lose all my money when I’m old and feeble and even worse with numbers.

By listening to supervisors, I’ve learned a lot. I actually listen. Most people don’t listen when others talk. Rather, they are just waiting for the other person to just stop talking, so they can put in their two cents. I like listening; it’s like I’m a kid hearing a story. Even when I’m not at work and in a social setting, I’ll always ask people what they do and listen to what business or profession they are in and what their work life is like. It’s pretty good for business to have this laser-like ability to focus on people talking about their careers.

So, I guess you have to trust a guy who has already admitted that he is a math idiot and has some weird, nosy fetish about what people do for a living, that I can divulge some pretty good advice.

I am writing this with the intention of helping you keep your job and excel within your company. The following could seem rudimentary, but as simple as it may seem, people tend not to do it. You shouldn’t run a red light, and yet people get ticketed for it every day. You shouldn’t walk into traffic with your eyes glued to your smart phone, but people still do it.

Here are some of the things hiring managers, over the years, have shared that drive them crazy- in regards to their employees.

Say any of these and your manager will not be too pleased.

 “But we’ve always done it this way.” When you question your boss as to why you need to do something, in a manner that differs from business as usual, it is perceived as you are actually saying, “Ugh, leave me alone! Don’t bother me with changes and thinking outside of the box. Why do we have to try something new? I’m too lazy and unmotivated to think of a new solution.”

“It’s Joe’s fault and not mine.” Your boss is thinking, “what are you…five-years-old?” If you’re working, you have to be an adult, almost. It’s time to own up to your mistakes and failures. Also, after middle school, pointing your finger at someone else and throwing them under the bus is a really dick move. If you made a mistake, own up to it. If it is someone else’s fault, be diplomatic and don’t try to ruin their career (unless they are a complete and utter jerk, then they deserve it).

“I can’t do this.”   This translates into, “I don’t want to do it or I don’t want to bother to learn how to do this task.” It’s a blow-off answer, designed to deflect away from doing something. Instead, a boss wants to hear something more positive like, “I’m not sure how to achieve this objective, but can you help me figure out what to do?” Also, offer that you are willing to learn and take the time to understand what is required. By offering to learn, it actually improves how you look in your manager’s eyes.

“That’s not my responsibility.” This demonstrates that you are not a team player, don’t want to go the extra yard, and are trying to weasel out of work. It’s an excuse to avoid doing work. A person says this to push back and hope that the manager will just ask someone else to do the task.

“I’m going to ask a stupid question.”  You don’t want to use language and phrases that make you sound weak, lacking confidence, and insecure. Also, it could be used as a passive aggressive question, in which the boss is waiting for your hostile question.

“I’ll try to get to it.” This answer makes a manager cringe, as she feels that the person will avoid doing a certain task. Instead, the employee should say, “I am engaged in x,y,z projects that require 1,2,3 amount of time and commitments. However, I understand that this task is important, so I will gladly work with you to figure out my schedule to get this accomplished.”

“I’m too busy.” Is a variation of “I’ll try to get to it,” as it is a blow-off. Also, it is a humble brag that they have so much going on that they “can’t possibly do this stupid, trivial thing you are asking of me.”

“I’m so over this place (I’m so outta here).”   Even if this is not said directly to the boss, nobody wants to hear negativity. We all get tired and frustrated at the office, but it is divisive and negative to share this with the manager and anyone else. It is also hard to walk it back. It sets you up as insubordinate and could alienate others at the office.

“So and So is a loser (jerk, dead weight, dummy).” There are always people lacking in talent and skills in the office, but it’s not polite to shoot him down. Pointing out the failures in someone else is not helpful and makes you look bad as well.

Make sure to avoid the following disparaging comments as well:

Why do I have to do it (why doesn’t Jane have to do it)?

Do I have to come in early for the meeting, couldn’t John go to it? It’s going to be a waste of time anyway.

Did you hear that Bob left and took another job? Everyone’s leaving, this is a sinking ship.

Do we really have to do this?

Is it five o’clock yet?

Of course, the computer system is down, nothing ever works right here!

I’m in the middle of something, leave me alone.

 I have no time for you.

Of course the above sounds a little exaggerated for effect, however, I believe you get the essence of what I’m trying to convey. It’s easy to get jaded and dissatisfied in your job. Most people feel that way from time-to-time, including yours truly. The trick is to keep the anger, resentment, and frustration to yourself or share it with your family and friends (who won’t really listen to you or care) instead of venting in front of your managers and colleagues. Here’s a little secret: your managers feel discouraged and stuck in their careers too. It’s a universally shared symptom of the modern corporate world.

When I was a kid my parents were both teachers. My mom returned to work after I was a little older and it was apparent that she hated teaching, was incredibly miserable, and would get stomach aches almost every morning before school. It never occurred to me that before then that teachers were human beings. It’s the same thing in the corporate world. Your manager is, believe it or not, an actual human being with feelings and emotions (I know that you are reading this and shaking your head in vehement disagreement). Therefore, by acting annoyed, surly, and angry makes them more surly and angry then they already are.

If you are really hating your job, lose the venom, and find something different. My mom went back to graduate school and became a special education teacher, loved it, and found purpose in life.

Now, that you are aware of “what not to say,” be conscientious of what you say in a professional setting and how you are portrayed… or else you may very well find yourself with the door hitting you in the butt.

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