Even poorly delivered feedback has value. Don’t dismiss it.

I have a saying I have to repeat to myself all too often – “Never let someone’s poor delivery distract you from their message.”

We all know those people – the ones that deliver feedback, solicited or otherwise, with a 2x4 to the side of your head. They knock your ego in the dirt and stare at you incredulously, wondering why you’re speechless, jaw dropped. “Was it something I said” they may irritatingly ask.

For many years, my younger ones, specifically, my reaction was just as poor as their delivery. I would quickly run through a whirlwind of emotions that would end in anger and resentment. At some point, as I matured (probably later than I should have), I realized the only thing worse than receiving negative feedback, was getting no feedback. Worse than the person that provides “constructive criticism” with no tact is the person that stays silent and lets you fail.

I’m not suggesting anyone tip-toe around someone’s delicate sensibilities. I don’t believe in “everyone gets a trophy” or laissez-faire styles of leadership; however, “tough love” never proved to be a functional theory and definitely can be counterproductive in the workplace.

If you’re the type to deliver messages in this way, stop. Be direct and specific, but do so with some diplomacy. Focus on actionable items. Provide tips for improving and offer help. Try the PIP (Positive-Improvement-Positive) approach to end your conversation on a positive note. Motivate and inspire your colleague rather than discouraging them.

If you’re the recipient of such messages, consider the fact that it’s probably not personal. If the person is taking the time to provide feedback, their intentions are probably good even if their choice of words isn’t. Find the root of the message, consider why it may be so disheartening to hear, and let the feedback motivate you to improve regardless of how it’s conveyed. 

Enjoy and be safe.