Even the arrogant ones need development

In one of my workshops, four employees are described in a case study. Participants are asked to determine which of four will be delegated an assignment.

I started noticing that one person described never was selected. In fact, not only was she never delegated to, she was mostly ignored and was not given feedback. I began asking participants why.

"Because the description says that she is arrogant."

That one word was consistently the only reason why she never got delegated to, never received feedback, and as a result, never grew.

Something about arrogance - we know from research that leaders that derail often do due to arrogance. The opposite of course is humility, which is a trait that draws people to leaders. But imagine if you have an otherwise performing individual contributor that is technically competent, assertive, confident, but rubs people the wrong way with perceived arrogance - and never gets feedback that she is coming across this way!

As participants in the class debriefed this situation, they discovered that they (and we all) have a tendency to "work around" those with abrasive personalities, i.e. the "arrogant". So, they don't get feedback, they don't grow. Chances are that this employee did not get any feedback that she was coming across as arrogant. Did she know what behaviors cause others to perceive her that way? Did she get some feedback on what was expected? No!

Let's face it, we all have blind spots. When I was 32 years old and was turned down for a promotion, my boss, Doreen Ward said to me, "Rodney, sometimes your ego gets in the way, and you don't even know it." Ouch. Well, that was one of several direct but life-changing feedback moment that Doreen provided that changed my life.

As a leader, have the courage to help the arrogant grow. Yes, their arrogance might cause them to argue, push back, and some won't change. But blind spots only become visible when we provide immediate, precise, clear, and concise feedback.

That alone will make one humble.

Good luck!