Evaluating Character

Hi, I’m David Timis and my mission in life is to prepare people for the future of work.?

In this week’s edition of the newsletter the theme revolves around evaluating character. Humans have a tendency to take things at face value and to trust what other people say without critically analysing the information that is shared or consulting different sources. Eventually, we pay a heavy price for this type of behaviour and we promise ourselves not to make the same mistake again in the future. However, we often need a few mistakes to learn, and so, we get burned multiple times before we start re-evaluating how we assess character. Becoming better judges of character is probably one of the most important skills we can learn, given the key role people we surround ourselves with play in our lives. The techniques presented in this newsletter aren’t just useful in evaluating other people’s character. You can also use the same techniques to better understand yourself. Below are some insights and thoughts that will help you better evaluate people's character, including your own.?

Timeless Insight

"Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future." – Oscar Wilde

People are complicated and flawed. So, if you want to point out someone’s shortcomings, you don’t have to look for too long. What is more difficult is to appreciate the full spectrum of strengths and weaknesses a particular person has. Because, as the Irish poet and playwright alluded to in the quote above, nobody is perfect. Too often we classify someone’s character in black or white terms, instead of noticing the nuances of grey. However, expertise is relative, and so, classifying someone as brilliant or ignorant depends more on the context he/she is in than their actual ability. Albert Einstein once said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Therefore, next time you evaluate someone’s character, keep in mind that context and circumstances play a crucial role. And, instead of starting by pointing out their weaknesses, first ask yourself what is the context they’re in, what are their unique strengths, and then try to envisage what type of situation will bring out their best self.?

Food for Thought

Most of us have been at least once in our lives in the situation of judging someone’s character inaccurately, and having to pay a price for this misjudgement, sometimes a very high price. Given how important the role people we surround ourselves with play in our lives, learning to better evaluate someone’s character can dramatically improve our existence. Below are seven techniques that can help you better evaluate people’s character.

1. Look at who they surround themselves with - This technique tells you important things about people you can’t learn any other way. A person’s choice of spouse, business partner, or group of friends is much more revealing than anything they say or do in public, because it enables you to get a glimpse of their deep-seated longings, expectations, and needs in life. Their choice tells you what they think of themselves, what they think they deserve in life, and what they will settle for. It is the clearest indicator of priorities and values you will ever find.?

2. See how they treat service workers - People tend to reveal their true nature when they deal with individuals who have no power and can never return a favour. They feel immune and free of all consequences, so they show their true colours and their true self comes out. So, if you are having dinner with someone you’d like to do business with or marry someday, and they verbally abuse the waiter for no obvious reason, then I would think twice about partnering up with them and start asking yourself why they are in your life in the first place.?

3. Discover what experiences formed their character in early life - This technique is not easy to apply in an informal context, especially not with someone you’ve just met. However, in an interview setting, asking someone about their earliest experiences in life, be it from their childhood or teenage years, can be quite revealing. That’s because people’s character and ability to handle challenges are almost entirely formed during the first two decades of their life. It’s unusual for people to change their character in any substantive way later in life.

4. Determine how they invest their time and money - The most revealing documents about someone are their calendar and monthly budget. How they allocate their time and money can help us determine what their priorities are, and what they aspire to achieve in life. These reveal what a person is all about more than words can ever do, because it’s easy to say the right things, but much more difficult to do the right things. Watching how people allocate these precious resources will enable you to understand them at a very deep level.?

5. Identify what irritates them the most in others - If we pay attention, we will notice how people reveal things about themselves unintentionally. For example, the flaw people hate the most in others is usually their own greatest weakness. This is because when we look in the mirror, we dislike seeing all the flaws in our appearance, and the same thing is true when we examine other people. They too are like mirrors. So, we are far more likely to forgive a weakness we have never experienced than one that we struggle with almost daily.?

6. Figure out if they are good listeners - When you encounter people in any kind of setting, from professional to social, they can choose to talk or listen. Talkers are quite common and it’s easy to spot them in a crowd at an event, but I’ve only met a few good listeners in my life so far, and they are some of the most empathic people I know. No organisation has enough good listeners, and if you have one in your life as a friend or colleague, you soon learn that they are an invaluable resource.

7. Watch how they handle unexpected situations - You can’t tell how a person improvises until they are put in a situation where spontaneous decision-making is required of them. Some people rise to the occasion, and others lose their cool completely. The point is not to overreact (i.e. causing a scene) or to under-react (i.e. letting things go), but to deal with unexpected situations with calm and composure. Such situations are precisely those that reveal the most about someone’s character and core values, and they are bound to happen.?

Article of the Week?

Laws of Character and Personality

Caricature of the Week

Source: Condé Nast

Thank you for reading and keep on growing!

David

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