Discover and Evaluate yourself! Based on the book "Dear Sonali, Letters to the Daughter I Never Had" by American Lawyer and Judge Lynn Toler

???????? ?????? ????????????!

With ever changing social infrastructures we can easily get detached from ourselves. Ourselves, as in the person we are meant to be; person you love every single time you see yourself in the mirror. Luckily we have people who take up the role of a second mom, an auntie or sister in our lives. These people come to remind us to dust ourselves off and go at it again!? And ow my! Does this come in handy for and within our professional lives!

I continue my journey and happily take you along. The same journey of going back to how I started building knowledge as a child, by reading books. ? This time with: Dear Sonali, Letters to the Daughter I Never Had by Lynn Toler

My takeaways from this book are:

1. What one person needs to hear might be the last thing you should say to someone else.
2. You can't control your life until you can control your emotions, they change everything.
3. Unattended details can lay a waste to the best laid plans.
4. A mother can only give you the best that she's got.
5. Achieving dreams requires you to fight whatever's captured you from reaching them so far.
6. The best thing about better than yesterday is that you can get there right now. Because you have the ability to change something. No matter how small at this very moment.
7. Unacknowledged emotional realities tend to run the show more often than we know.
8. Don't just have strong feelings about something without wondering about the source.
9. Your environment doesn't just inform you it also forms you.
10. We all have deep emotional memories that whisper in our ear even if we're not aware they're there.
11. Always be willing to test your strongest likes and great attractions. If you understand where they came from you can decide to accept or reject them.
12. Know why you do everything you do.
13. There is power in understanding how any system works.
14. You should own whatever level of school smart you are, but don't let it own you.
15. The world is your classroom. Learn everything you can.
16. You have great value just the way you are.
17. You have been created in the image of god and are therefore majestic in his likeness.
18. You have both great value and potential.
19. You can't access your greatness if you keep tripping over your weak to conquer your weakness. You have to be able to look them square in the eye.
20. When faced with criticism, we all tend to fall into defense, deflection and deflation. They are noise that drowns out growth.
21. If knowledge is power then self knowledge makes you superwoman.
22. If I point out some mistakes you're making, don't suck it up into your soul as confirmation of your lack of worth. Take it instead as information and an acknowledgment of your humanity.
23. You are who you choose to be from this moment forward.
24. The trick is to keep your stupid to a minimum.
25. What I don't want you to do is get in the habit of focusing on what you do and dismissing what you don't.
26. Everybody's got an opinion.
27. Your beliefs cannot be so fragile that you feel threatened if others don't share them.
28. Most of the time we are so involved in what's happening that we don't stop and take a look at what's happening.
29. Just don't let your community define who you are or restrict your vision.
30. Don't get swept up in emotional deliveries. Always test the facts.
31. Value is not in the conversation; it's in the action and companionship.
32. Opportunity knocks but it doesn't make home calls.
33. When you get to places, make as much noise as you can. If you're loud enough and the right way opportunities may find you.
34. No finger wagging at other mothers about how they're on their things. Unless you're at their house, helping them do it.
35. Your twenties are not for continuous compromise.
36. Don't fight to stay in a relationship that isn't serving you well.
37. Don't let a one night stand lead you into believing that he is a nice guy.
38. When people show you who they are believe them. You get the guy you pick, not the one you hope he'll become, by Maya Angelou.
39. You can love booze all you want but it will never love you back.
40. Being with your lover should feel both safe and welcoming.
41. If he hasn't committed his life to you don't make yours smarter to accommodate his.
42. Line drawing, by the way, it's not a load and choppy activity. It is calm smooth and matter of fact.
43. Don't get crazy. Be serious.
44. Relationships are a bit like children.
45. Observe as you live, remember your limits and address issues that have a real meaning in real time.
46. The fact that he loves you does not allow him access to your point of view.
47. Don't love from a place of fear, no matter what you've been through or what's common where you live.
48. Never do wife things at girlfriend prices.
49. Every relationship is as unique as the two people in it.
50. Always remember what's special about the two of you.
51. Make sure you know what the fight is really about.
52. Lots of couples end up going from one fight to another without ever solving anything. You are fighting current irritations and not the underlying issue.
53. There's no way to make other people less crazy. All you can do is make sure that they don't make you crazy in return.
54. People can get used to living in the dark. They forget how good the light is. Don't get stuck in a bad place. Fearing the consequences of change.
55. Love should lift you up, not crush your soul.
56. Singleness is not a sickness it's a viable option.
57. You don't need permission to be happy.
58. It's not your fault that he decided not to do anything to keep you.
59. People can smell both weakness and confidence. If you give off the former, they'll take advantage. Display the latter makes them stop and reconsider.
60. Don't let a leaving steal your joy.
61. You haven't been left. You've been free to find something better than what you have, to satisfy yourself and your needs, to find someone who will really love you.
62. Have a life so full that you don't come undone because of someone else's behavior.

?

It is still okay to disagree with an author (except for an autobiography).