Eulogy Virtues vs. Résumé Virtues: Living a Life of Success and Significance

In today’s fast-paced world, personal achievement is often celebrated more than personal character. We live in a society that encourages professional success, measured by promotions, titles, and material accomplishments. Yet, as David Brooks pointed out in his book The Road to Character, there is a distinction between two types of virtues that shape our lives—résumé virtues and eulogy virtues. Understanding and balancing these two dimensions of personal effectiveness can lead to a richer, more meaningful life.

Résumé Virtues: What We Bring to the Marketplace

Résumé virtues represent the skills, competencies, and achievements that contribute to career success. These are the qualities we list on our CVs—what we are good at and what makes us employable. Examples include:

• Technical skills: Expertise in a particular field (e.g., finance, marketing, engineering)
• Work achievements: Awards, promotions, or revenue generated
• Professional milestones: Certifications, degrees, and leadership roles
• Performance metrics: Meeting goals, achieving KPIs, and demonstrating strategic thinking

Résumé virtues are often outward-facing; they are what employers and the job market value. While these virtues help us secure jobs, grow careers, and gain recognition, they focus heavily on external achievements. The risk is that they can sometimes lead to a narrow definition of success—one that overlooks the person we are becoming in pursuit of our goals.

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Eulogy Virtues: Who We Are at Our Core

Eulogy virtues, on the other hand, are the qualities people remember about us when we are gone—our moral compass, ki

ndness, integrity, and relationships. These are the virtues that speak to the essence of who we are, such as:

• Kindness: Treating others with empathy and compassion
• Integrity: Being honest and standing by one's principles, even when inconvenient
• Humility: Acknowledging personal limitations and embracing continuous growth
• Generosity: Willingly sharing time, resources, and knowledge with others
• Resilience: Persevering through challenges with grace and optimism

Unlike résumé virtues, eulogy virtues are inward facing. They reflect how we make others feel, how we treat people, and the values we stand by when no one is watching. These virtues leave a legacy that transcends professional accolades, shaping the way we are remembered by family, friends, and the broader community.

The Tension Between Résumé and Eulogy Virtues

The modern career landscape often pushes people to prioritize résumé virtues over eulogy virtues. The pressure to "win" in competitive environments can foster a culture of individualism and ambition, where personal achievements take precedence over character development. However, focusing solely on résumé virtues can lead to burnout, loneliness, or regret in the long run.

Conversely, a life devoted exclusively to eulogy virtues might lack the structure, discipline, and ambition needed to thrive in the professional world. The challenge, therefore, is to create harmony between the two sets of virtues.

Integrating Résumé and Eulogy Virtues for a Meaningful Life

Personal effectiveness requires a balanced approach—one that acknowledges both the importance of professional success and the need for personal growth and impact. Below are some strategies to help integrate both virtues effectively:

1. Align Career with Personal Values: Choose a profession or role that reflects your deeper values. This ensures that your work has personal significance beyond just a paycheck.
2. Prioritize Relationships: Make time for family, friends, and mentorship. Building authentic connections creates a lasting legacy that goes beyond achievements.
3. Cultivate Reflection: Regularly assess not just what you are achieving, but who you are becoming in the process. Are you growing in empathy, humility, and patience?
4. Practice Gratitude and Service: Engage in activities that serve others—mentorship, volunteering, or acts of kindness. This cultivates both inner fulfillment and external impact.
5. Develop a Growth Mindset: Strive for professional success but remain open to personal development. Use setbacks as opportunities to grow both professionally and morally.

In the end, the goal is not to abandon one set of virtues in favor of the other but to find a balance that reflects both success and significance. Résumé virtues help us achieve and contribute to the marketplace, but eulogy virtues determine how we impact others and the legacy we leave behind. A truly effective life is one where professional achievement are aligned with personal character—where the drive for success is matched by a commitment to live with kindness, humility, and integrity.

We should aim to write résumés that showcase our talents while living lives that will be remembered fondly at our eulogies. Because, at the end of the day, it is not just what we do that matters, but who we are in the process.