Etiquette at Business Events

Inspired by a discussion I had on Radio 357 with Jaroslaw Sroka , I thought that in today's newsletter, I would tackle the topic of etiquette at business events, of what is appropriate and what is not. Let's go!

Who shakes hands first?

It is customary to assume that the first person to shake hands at business events is the more experienced one or the one higher in seniority. This would go C-Level, senior positions, mid, and juniors. However, in this regard, event participants are becoming more flexible, and the contact is often initiated simply by the person who wants to say hello.

In the context of shaking hands to say hello, it doesn't matter whether someone is a man or a woman. Although in many private situations, it is usually the man who makes the first move, and sometimes the handshake is even reserved exclusively for men; in business, gender does not matter. So, dear gentlemen, always shake hands with women and don’t be surprised if a woman offers her hand first.

Who can offer to shorten the distance? (aka the transition to informal "you")

In Polish business, I am increasingly noticing a shortening of the distance and moving to the informal "you." It is assumed that the transition to the informal "you", like shaking hands, is proposed by a person higher in the hierarchy or higher in seniority. In a "sales" relationship, on the other hand, it is the customer who suggests shortening the distance to the salesperson.

However, let's remember two very important points - first, shortening the distance does not mean that we should give up showing respect to the other person. Second, we can always refuse to go to the informal "you," but let's do it politely and tactfully.

What should a business card exchange look like?

Should one bring traditional or digital business cards? I use both solutions and appreciate each in its own way. The traditional ones are more memorable as they give the conversation a personal touch. Digital ones, on the other hand, are easier to prepare and update (e.g., if our position or phone number changes). If you get a paper business card from someone, remember that it should be accepted and kept. It is in bad taste to photograph a business card and hand it back to the person who gave it to you.

Remember that exchanging contact is one thing and maintaining a relationship is another! A nice gesture would be to send a follow-up message after the meeting, in which you thank the person for the conversation and remind him of the most important points.

How should one dress?

Always adequately according to the dress code. If it is not officially given, try to ask other participants or the organizers. If you do not have the opportunity to inquire, it is better to be overdressed than underdressed. With overdress you can always go a little off the tone - you can take off your jacket, roll up your shirt sleeves, take off your tie, and undo the shirt button at the neck. With an underdress, you are left with no other option than to try to quickly arrange an outfit that fits the occasion (which is often quite a challenge!).

Knowledge of business etiquette and savoir-vivre can be of great benefit in building relationships with potential clients and partners. Remember, however, that times are changing and so are people's attitudes. We are increasingly willing to move away from the old norms in favor of more casualness and shortening the distance.

It's also worth bearing in mind that many people use clothing as part of their image-building. When we think of Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs, we immediately have in mind how they were dressed - and they usually wore the same thing. Similarly, in Poland's backyard, when I think of Pawel Tkaczyk, I immediately see the Batman T-shirt he wears under his jacket.

How do you join a conversation that is in progress?

Have you ever found yourself wanting to join a conversation but didn't know how to do it tactfully? First of all, it will always be easier to approach a group than two people, since it is not uncommon for two people to discuss more "private" topics (for example, when talking to a potential investor).

Body language and positioning of interlocutors can help sense the nature of the conversation. If the interlocutors are facing each other and give the impression of being tightly focused on each other, it may mean they do not want to be interrupted. In such a situation, it is better to give up or wait for a better moment. If, on the other hand, the interlocutors are standing in such a way that they are "open" to the rest of the room (it often looks like they are brought closer with their shoulders, and their eyes sweep over the rest of the room as well), this could be a sign, inviting others to join in. If you do decide to join an ongoing conversation, approach and ask if you can do so. Also, respect any refusal!

How to "brush off" someone mid-conversation?

Now let's take a different perspective - we are the ones having an important 1:1 conversation. Do we have to agree to have someone join it? The answer is no. However, let's make sure that the refusal is polite - apologize, let them know that you are discussing important topics, and possibly offer to meet a little later or at a completely different time.