AN ETHNOGRAPHIC SELF-PORTRAIT IN WELLNESS

Self-care—this is such a pervasive part of our cultural fabric that you don’t need a strategist to tell you it matters! But while self-care nowadays can feel like overblown, skin-deep marketing hype, I also see leaders in the movement approaching wellness through a holistic, multi-dimensional lens.

For my own intellectual curiosity, I want to do a deep dive into self-care. There are plenty of resources with lists of products and practices to adopt, so I’m not replicating that! Instead, I decided to apply some of the concepts from my professional life into my personal life, so I did a brief ethnographic “self-portrait” of my self-care rituals and habits—big, small, and plain idiosyncratic. Why? Because long lists of what you should do create an illusion of perfection that’s unachievable. An ethnographic snapshot captures the messy reality of self-care in the real world in its myriad imperfect and eccentric forms.

A DAY IN MY LIFE:

AN ETHNOGRAPHIC SELF-PORTRAIT IN WELLNESS

What is ethnographic research?

For context, ethnographic research is a qualitative research method where researchers observe people in their natural environments. To understand its relevance outside of an academic setting, here’s a?concise HBR article?by an anthropologist at Intel Research on why it is a valuable corporate research tool.

:: Observation/Field-notes On Self-care/Wellness Moments ::

(Note: even though beauty and nutrition/food are part of self-care, we’ve omitted them in this exercise for brevity, as they involve many other considerations beyond wellness.)        

Time:?Morning, after waking | Wellness activities:?Stretching, make/drink tea, write, listen to spiritual readings, prayer | Where:?Dining room table, bedroom altar

Time:?Morning, before work | Wellness activities:?Breathing exercise, write (set intention/big wins for the day, time-boxes for the day), drink coffee | Where:?Home office.

Time:?Morning, before lunch | Wellness activities:?Run | Where:?Neighborhood

Time:?Lunch | Where:?Home office/kitchen | Anti-wellness moment:?No lunch break—grabbed some peanut-butter pretzels and downed them with coffee before going back to meetings; signs of stress

Time:?Afternoon | Where:?Home office | Wellness activities:?Listen to music and occasional deep breaths of essential oils while working | Anti-wellness moments:?Distraction from Slack and email notifications; signs of stress

Time:?Afternoon break | Where:?Home office | Wellness activities:?Browsing online, hit “app limit,” made/drank tea and browsed some magazines, turned on the phone, but stopped and did a Headspace meditation | Anti-wellness moments:?Extending “app limits,” signs of frustration when extension expired; automatic email browsing then stopping to meditate—signs of internal conflict

Time:?Evening, dinner time | Where:?Dining room | Wellness activities:?Gratitude song before a meal, special beverage mix with dinner | Tools:?Kombucha with sparkling water in wine glass

Time:?Evening, before bedtime | Wellness activities:?Drink tea while working late, 1-min breathing exercise,?deep breaths of essential oils, listen to music during a nighttime routine, stretching/PT, prayer/give thanks, meditate | Anti-wellness moments:?Turning off Screen Time to access computer for working late, frustration when bedtime reminder came on the phone, going to bed one hour later than scheduled

Weekend Wellness Activities:?"Tech Shabbat" (no devices/screen time) from Sat evening to Sun evening | Sunday: Family hike/nature excursion

:: Commentary And Analysis ::

The Personal Language of Care In my everyday life, I don’t use the term self-care. I refer to these activities in different ways: Zen moments, warrior queen mindset, centering, Spartan heart. Yet, self-care and wellness is the default short-hand in the industry. When we listen to people’s vocabulary for self-care in real life, we gain deeper insights into the diverse self-care goals each audience has and can address them more meaningfully.

Journaling and Writing as Self-Care Tools Writing helps me be more self-aware and intentional about my day. I have digital tools for keeping track of to-dos, projects, and meetings, but those are tactical. Writing out my three big wins for the day reminds me to focus on what truly matters, relieves me of the stress of trying to check off the never-ending to-do list, and creates a sense of accomplishment when I can check each off at the end of the day.

Digital Devices as Self-Care Ally and Foe! I love my Headspace and Calm apps and the breathing app on my watch. However, my phone is also a major temptation for distraction and time suck! And for all the tools I use to manage it, it continues to be a struggle.

Multiple Tools to Wrangle The Digital Beast While I have no good handle on this, I continue to try. While “discipline” tools like Downtime and App Limits help, having “delightful” physical alternatives make things easier. For a mental break, I convince myself to pick up?Outside?magazine or a travel photobook. Yes, they are also distractions. But I find myself refreshed and fulfilled after these paper delights, whereas I feel mildly discontented, dissatisfied, and distressed when I spend the same amount of time scrolling on my phone.

Small, Easy Self-Care Moments/Tools I have an embarrassing array of essential oils and herbal teas for all kinds of needs—grounding, heart-opening, joy, calm, etc. They make it easy to take a moment to de-stress when meditation feels like too much effort. I don’t have strong convictions or proof that these herbs do what they purport to. But, I believe the act of picking each one and taking a pause to enjoy them prompts me to be in touch with my needs, take symbolic action towards meeting that need, and hopefully trigger a placebo effect.

Generally Balanced—Lacking In Two Main Dimensions While I have a holistic approach that ranges from physical to mental wellness, my social connections aren’t very healthy. Other than family and client meetings, there are minimal social interactions.

Influence of the Sober Curious Wellness Trend Don’t get me wrong—I continue to love my whiskies (Glenrothes, anyone?) and enjoy a good glass of wine socially. But I drink alcohol more sparingly these days. So it doesn’t feel like deprivation; at dinner time, I have a range of delightful drink options—non-alcoholic, low-sugar functional cocktails, new flavors of kombucha, and sipping vinegar in sparkling water.

Past Favorites and Failures I’ve also learned that wellness rituals and needs change with the seasons of our lives. Tai Chi, Yoga, knitting, and baking were part of my wellness routines at other times in my life, but they’ve dropped off. But, then, there are self-care activities that I’ve tried and quickly learned are not for me! Gardening, regular bubble baths, extreme gratitude.

Final Food For Thought Self-care and wellness isn’t just a list of activities and products. It is a practice of continuously stopping, tuning in, and becoming aware of what’s working and what’s not in your life—and evolving your habits and rituals to address those changing needs.

This article was originally published in Izzy's Big Flipping Newsletter (subscribe here!). Izzy Chan is a strategist, researcher, cultural envoy for the State Department, and the director of?Matriarch, a documentary-in-progress set in four matriarchal communities around the world.