Estelle's Story: Experiencing the Menopause

When did you first notice any symptoms and think that you might be going through menopause??

When I turned 50 my periods started being a bit erratic, so that was really the first sign for me that something was changing. I also gained about three stone in weight over the course of the next two years. However, at the same time I had the Mirena coil fitted, which can stop periods, so I was never totally sure if it was menopause or not. Then lockdown happened, so I used that as an excuse for the weight gain. I figured I was in perimenopause when I was 52, more due to my age than anything.??

What sort of symptoms and signs did you notice that made you think you might be going through menopause??

Looking back now I can see I had several, but it’s only recently that I’ve discovered all of the symptoms connected to perimenopause. The very first symptom I got (when I was about 48) was extreme itching on my arm. I thought it was an allergy to my watch, but it clearly wasn’t. I have also suffered from weight gain and multiple urine infections. My sleep is disrupted most nights - I am often awake for an hour during the night and I also suffer regularly from night sweats. My skin is generally much drier than it used to be. I find it hard to concentrate for long periods of time and I am very forgetful - sometimes I can’t even remember simple words! More recently my libido has totally disappeared.??

Has this all affected me mentally? Yes, absolutely. I take anti-depressants. I started on them when I got divorced and found myself a single parent to two teenagers but I was only on a low dose. Over the last few months I have needed to increase the dose as I had been feeling so low and tearful most of the time. This has helped me feel more in control and just “normal”.??

Did your symptoms affect you at work??

Yes, absolutely. They’ve affected me in many ways. I am extremely emotional - I cry a lot, which has been embarrassing at work. Even something as simple as someone giving me feedback reduces me to tears. The extreme emotion has been particularly difficult to deal with. I have cried in 1-1s with my manager and other members of the senior leadership team in our department, particularly when discussing my job and personal development.?

Also, if I’ve been awake in the night for a long period of time I find myself exhausted during the day and so sometimes I have a break to take a nap. Even though I really love my job, I really struggle to concentrate at times too.?

Were you able to talk to anyone at work about what was going on??

Yes, I have mentioned it to my manager. I’ve also discussed it with their manager and the person above them too. Two of them are male and one is female (but much younger than me), so whilst they are empathetic, it’s not something they really understand.??

I am quite an open book about it though, as I really don’t want it to be a taboo subject. I am chair of the Menopause community and met with a few members just before Christmas for coffee. We spent 1.5 hours talking about our symptoms which I found very helpful. Finally I was able to talk to people who really understood, we shared our experiences and I felt like a weight had been lifted.??

Was there anything you found that particularly helped??

Talking to other women going through it at work has really helped. I spoke to someone who was just as emotional as me at work and it was really good to know I wasn’t alone. Also, one of our managers told me I could take time off if I needed it, which I appreciated. I currently take hormone replacement therapy, but my symptoms have definitely gotten worse over the last six months so my doctor is referring me to a menopause specialist.?

How much did you know about menopause before experiencing any symptoms??

It’s funny, because I really thought I knew a lot. I had friends who’d experienced it before me and we’d spoken about it, but I realise now we didn’t really discuss it in much depth. It’s only as I’ve gone through it myself that I’ve realised just how many different symptoms there are and how differently we are all affected by them.??

What do you think about Ocado’s new Menopause Policy - which will offer colleagues experiencing menopause symptoms paid time off??

I think it’s fantastic. I was closely involved in the creation of the policy, so it’s wonderful to see it finally going live. One thing I will have to do is put my money where my mouth is. I will definitely be encouraging colleagues experiencing symptoms to take the time off, and when I’m having a bad day I shall make sure I do the same.?

I know that Ocado really cares about the welfare of its employees. If I was sick or pregnant I wouldn’t hesitate to take a day off to feel better, so why should it be any different if my menopause symptoms are affecting me? I want people to be able to freely talk about menopause with their managers and colleagues, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.??

Any advice to anyone going through menopause now??

• Talk to your doctor. I’ve found nothing but a sympathetic ear when I have spoken to mine. Thanks to some advice I received I am now being referred to a menopause clinic by my doctor where my testosterone levels will be checked, among other things, to make sure I receive the right treatment?
• Don’t hesitate to contact me personally. I am always happy to listen to anyone suffering from perimenopause symptoms.??

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