essentialism: focusing on what matters

Dear you,

It's our first letter and I decided to make it a bonus letter (this means, I'll send another, next Tuesday). This is a foundational letter, and it is important because we have to start right at the beginning; after all, it's a new year, and no strategy will make sense without first having goals!

I can't talk about the future without talking a little about the past, so let's talk about 2021.

In 2021, I set very audacious goals. After writing some of those goals I added caveats beside them like "(maybe)" or "(lofty goals)" because I didn't believe I could achieve them. I wrote a range of numbers, sometimes highlighting what was realistic and audacious. Guess why? Because I was scared! I was scared of looking back at my goals and feeling like I had failed myself... I didn't think it was possible to achieve them. Fast forward to December 31, 2021, amid everything life threw at me, in between health challenges and life challenges, I surpassed 80% of those goals and even the BIG AUDACIOUS GOALS (BAGs), which were 2x to 10x more than my realistic goals.

Retracing my steps mentally to figure out how these happened, I realised a few things about the 80% of goals I won at:

• I set goals, but I built systems: In 2020, I watched a video by Rowena Tsai about goals and systems. Your goal is the destination, but the system is more of a journey, a habit. I focused on compounding efforts as often as I could, showing up in small increments at a certain frequency (Wole Soyinka would probably say - cadence). I wrote what I wanted, but I did something as often as I could to get there, and guess what? It became a habit. Investing became a habit. Saying "no" and "yes, with certainty became a habit. Learning something every single day became a habit. I built systems to Systems prioritise continuous improvement over one-time hits and successes - progress over perfection. When you fall in love with the process rather than the result, you give yourself permission to be happy through the journey, instead of delaying your happiness. Systems are more about continuous actions (even after achieving the goal). Your actions determine whom you become, not your goals.

• I wrote my goals where I could see them: I didn't just write my goals in a book and tuck them aside. I wrote my goals in an app I used every single day. I have a friend who took a screenshot of her goals and made it her phone's wallpaper. I know some people also stick it to their bathroom mirrors. The point here is to keep your goals where you can see them every single day. Seeing my goals every day re-energised me. It helped me keep myself accountable for my daily actions. It made it easier for me to show up as consistently as I could in small increments daily. It helped me identify when to ask or pay for help. It engrained the goals in my unconscious and nudged me when I was slacking. The more I saw the goals, the more I believed them unconsciously. Try this tip this year. It might change your life.

The 20% of my goals I failed at, here's what I learned and will do better this year:

• Do only what is essential: It is so easy to fall into the trap of doing everything at once and thinking everything is important. The reality is - not everything is important. Don't get everything done; get the right things done. The right things make all the difference. Avoid cramming yourself with too many activities. You need focus. Identify and prioritise the things that contribute to your growth, make you feel good, positive, inspired or uplifted.? Make the wisest possible investment of your time and energy to operate at the highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential. This little activity will help you FOCUS better. I realised that less than 20% of what I did last year gave me the most results. If I had focused and poured more effort into those, maybe the results would have been better. I'm doing that this year. I'm not going to be active on all social media channels, only those important to me and my goals. I'm not attending all events. I am not giving everyone my time in equal measure. The beauty of essentialism is this - you get to choose how you experience every moment of your life. What you choose to not do is as important as what you choose to do. Ask yourself, "Is this the most important thing I should be doing right now with my time and resources? Ask yourself who is important? What is important? Then make time for that! Make time for what is essential, necessary, or important.

You must be wondering"How do you determine what is important?"

Here's how I determine what is important:

If I was dying tomorrow, what would I prioritise? What would matter? Death has a way of giving us perspective on life. Knowing that life is finite, and the average person will only live 30,000 days on earth, you begin to realise that's not a lot of days. I need to make each day count. The world is so noisy, and we get distracted easily, but we can't blame the world. We have the ability to choose. Choose what is important. Choose the people and things that make you feel good, positive, inspired or uplifted. Choose you.

Here's a Challenge:

Grab a book or open the note app on your phone or Notion... whatever works for you. Then, write the answers to the following down:

1. Review your 2021: What are you grateful for? What are you proud of? What did you overcome? (Don't downplay anything, give yourself all the credit). As Louise Karch would say - "Own your awesome". What lessons did you learn about yourself and life? What feelings did I feel, and what did I learn from those feelings?
2. Dream: Write down all the things you want for yourself (or want to achieve) this 2022. Don't just think in terms of money or work; think about your health, your time, your relationships, personal development and whatever is important to you.
3. Review: Ask yourself, "Why?". Why do I want these things? How can I close the gap between where I am now and what I want?
4. Choose what is essential: Look through that list and ask yourself - what is really important? What can I do without? What is the best use of my time? Next, strip the list of things you know would not matter, or you will not pursue if this was the last year of your life. Next, rank what you've chosen in other of priority and map out action plans (what steps you will take to get to your desired goals).
5. Pick one thing you would dedicate your focus and time to this month. One thing you will prioritise over everything else and decide on one thing you will do every day, one incremental action you will take daily towards achieving this goal. If you want to read a book in one month, it could be - "I will read five pages every day as soon as I wake up before anything else.". The actions are up to you.
6. Review, Refine monthly and Reward yourself as you progress.

Don't just feel inspired and do nothing. Please take action. Start with the activity above and truly commit. Nothing would change if you don't take action.

After doing this exercise for your life, you can repeat it for your business, brand, career, and other aspects! I curated a Goal Setting workbook with step by step guides to help you figure this out. Unfortunately, I have just 20 left (as it sold out twice really quickly). I will love you to have a copy if you feel like you need it. You can get it here .

Remember, FOCUS only on what is ESSENTIAL.

Don't do everything, do only what matters. Life is short.

With Love,

Blessing Abeng

Ps: I lost the first version of this letter I created and had to re-write a whole new one. It felt a little demoralising but I persevered. I made you a promise and I intend to keep it. No matter how hard it gets. I think this version is actually better ??.