Essence Of Motherhood

“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” – Cardinal Mermillod

I wish motherhood came with a training manual but it doesn’t. However, every day you work on becoming a better version of yourself because you have eyes on you: watching you, emulating you, learning from you. It's a tremendous responsibility to carry. You are their mentor. You might possibly become their role model, someone your children can be proud of. They suck in all the good and the bad energy from their environment. Not only do they inhale all the love, but they also breathe in the hardships and the pain. 

From the perspective of a Mother, all her children are worthy of her love. Mothers seek only love from her children. Her heart is deep like the ocean. There the gentle breeze which soothes and caresses her children; then there are the strong currents which helps sway her children to shore.

Not only do we have a unique relationship with our own mothers but we have a unique relationship with our children too. When I reflect back on my life, I know I have made countless mistakes; not just with my mother but also with my daughters and yes, we do pay the price for our mistakes. The key thing is realization & courage. Realization comes from self-reflection, realizing the mistakes that were made, and then finding the courage within to make amends. Not only is it essential to make amends with your children as a mother, also make amends as a child with your own mother. 

Let's start by asking some meaningful questions:

When was that first moment you felt like a mother?

• I think motherhood starts getting tested as soon as your baby is born. You can barely catch up on sleep. You go from responsibility for yourself mode into responsibility for your child mode. When this new born creation enters your world and is totally and completely dependent on you for their well-being and existence, you learn to put their needs before your own. Waking up at odd hours—even when you don’t have energy to feed even yourself—you still need to make sure you get up and take care of the crying infant. Provide for their needs and their wants. They are like a mirror, reflecting your mistakes and your nurturing. Their disappointment in you, as well as their pride, both reflect in their eyes. 

What's your favorite childhood memory of your mom?  

• My mother is a beautiful and strong woman, gorgeous, elegant and dignified. My favorite memory of my mom is her ability to always shine. Her positive energy. Her resilience to keep getting up and keep going. Her physical beauty! Yes, I was captivated and enthralled by how beautiful she was, and still is. It takes her minutes to dress up, put her makeup on and be waiting for me at the door when I ask her if she would like to accompany me to the grocery store! My dad always encouraged me, when he would see me spend my whole day in rags, to keep myself groomed like my mom (smile). Her always knowing every sensation within my body; joy, happiness, sadness, failure. Her being my saving grace, always, without fail. She’s my pride. She’s my mother. She’s my lifeline. My everything. And I am her world, her pride and even when I am nothing, I am her everything. 

What small thing can you do today that would make your mom’s life better? And if your mom isn’t part of this world anymore, what can you do for someone she loved that would make her radiate her brilliant smile over you. 

• For my mom it's giving charity. She spends half a year in Pakistan, where her home is & where I was born and raised. Once a year, she goes around to relatives & acquaintances who suffer from financial hardship and distributes charity; both in monetary form, as well as essentials and basic necessity needed for their survival. She will go from house to house checking on people whenever she is there. All my life, I always saw her giving charity. Even when we went through times where there wasn’t much to give, she always had ample to give. 

My mother, my role-model. 

The Essence of Motherhood is fiercely and selflessly loving her children, without imposing your vision and expectations on them. Without outlining their life, simply providing them a framework to keep flowing with life and doing whatever it is that they are intrinsically created to do in this world. Not our vision, but their purpose.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there!

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