Esse Quam Videri
Dr Rob Gibson
rsgeducationconsultancy.co.uk
Cicero’s phrase ‘Esse quam videri’ (“ To be, rather than to seem”) from his essay titled ‘Friendship’ , has to be one of the most widely used epitaph’s , motto’s or phrases. It continues to be used by a number of UK schools and also a variety of American states including North Carolina.
I recently came across the phrase while visiting Castle Croft , a 14th century building near the small market town of Leominster in Herefordshire. This was and is, the home of the Croft family, now under the control of the National Trust. It remains a very beautiful building, set within some 1500 acres of park and farmland. While walking near the chapel I came across several gravestones all belonging to the Croft family , one of which had the epitaph , ‘Esse quam Videri’ .
In considering this epitaph , it is my intention to briefly reference similar phrases , lessons from literature and its place in our thinking today and its relevance in today’s Covid/post Covid lockdown.
A consequence of the Covid pandemic has been the publication of numerous surveys , all of which indicate that much of the UK population has been undergoing a significant ‘spell’ of personal reflection about their lives , their jobs , where they live , and perhaps even a desire to change their own world. The outcome of this mass ‘introspective’ soul searching may be summarised, if the polls are correct as; ‘what is the purpose of life’, ‘what is its meaning’ , ‘what future will my children have’?: all very philosophical. It seems to me that that the epitaph on the ‘Croft’ tomb is thus both relevant and a useful catalyst to stimulate any self-reflection.
The epitaphs meaning can be interpreted in many ways: for some ,it can mean being strong and standing-up for your own beliefs rather than having to accept any dogma or ideological system: in short , a belief in the rightness of one’s own views and standing by them. For others ,it might suggest that ‘what we are’ , conveys more than ‘what we do’: this tends to reiterate the first interpretation but in either analysis , how we live our lives and how we are seen by others is a reflection upon our own ‘belief system’ rather than those of others, whether party political , ideological or religious. It seems apposite therefore, that Mark Twain’s suggestion that , “the two most important days in your life are when you are born and the day you find yourself”, resonates within our present ‘soul searching’ and collective introspection.
The call for such ‘introspection’ is not new. One of the three Delphic maxims inscribed in the ‘pronaos’ (forecourt) of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi was ’nosce te ipsum’ ( ‘know thy self’): the two other maxims were ,“ nothing to excess” and “surety brings ruin”. Yet such philosophical word play can have little meaning if there is no outcome: perhaps a decision to change jobs, to move out of the city or a move to a healthier lifestyle: the list can be endless. It is ultimately the thinking and self-reflection implicit within ‘esse quam videri’, ‘nosce te ipsum’ or even Mark Twain’s comment which is of particular relevance and importance.
In literature , the concept of self-reflection and understanding ‘self’ is a constant. In Ernest Hemmingway’s short story , ‘ The Old Man and the Sea’ , there is at the heart of the story an epic struggle between a very old Cuban fisherman Santiago and what will become the greatest catch of his life. He is, however , constantly unlucky in his fishing endeavours to such an extent that the local villagers look upon him not only as a failure but also as figure of ridicule. His young apprentice Manolin is forced by his parents to abandon him in order to seek better and more prosperous fishing grounds.
The Old Man, who has an unshakeable belief in himself , knows that he will soon achieve his life’s ambition and find a large fish and in doing so , he will be able to show the villagers that he is more than he ‘seems’ to them and never doubts himself: he knows that ‘doubt’ can kill both his spirit and very his very being. With the help of Manolin , he sails out further than ever and after a three-day fight captures a huge Marlin. The fight exhausts the Old Man leaving him delirious and in pain. Too big for him to reel into his small skiff he ties the fish to the side of the boat leaving a trail of blood in the water for sharks to circle on his way home and attack the fish. Although he kills many sharks , it is a hopeless fight and the side of his boat now laden with a huge skeleton becomes a metaphor for what might have been. When he arrives back on shore late at night , he leaves the boat and the Marlin carcass tied up: next morning the villagers see what the Old Man has achieved and marvel at his exploits: Manolin rejoins him as his apprentice and the old man is now happy with his life.
The main theme of this short story centres around honour in struggle , defeat and death. The Old Man knows himself and refuses to be defeated by an animal: it is his battle against the natural world and his place within nature. Both the Old Man and the Marlin display the qualities of pride , honour and bravery and they are both subject to the same law: kill or be killed.
Importantly for Hemmingway as with the epitaph ‘esse quam videri’ , the Old Man’s determination is an honourable characteristic if somewhat flawed by his ‘raging’ pride. Nevertheless, the Old Man is keenly aware that his pride ( as with ancient world heroes) could lead to his downfall: but he understands himself and knows that pride in himself is a great source of strength. For him, you have to know who you are in the world: The Old Man in the ‘esse quam videri’ context, not only believes in himself but believes himself to be greater than the Marlin whom he has just defeated.
So, it is also the case that in lockdown and in ‘furlough’ that the security of ‘what was’ ( career , income, social interaction) has been torn apart by a pandemic which , like the sharks in the Hemmingway story , has attacked the ‘soul’ of our very being and in some cases , our raison d’etre.
While it is true the Old Man operates from the polar opposite perspective when compared to that of individual lockdown isolation , the link between the story and our collective lockdown introspection, is that he understood what he had to do in order to make his life fulfilled and change his world.
Contemplating in lockdown who we are and what we want to do brings together the concept of ‘esse quam videri’ and our future , for in thinking about our own goals and objectives in life provides both impetus and new meaning to what we desire: understanding who we are rather an alternative persona for public consumption is a vital human drive in order to to succeed. As Francis of Assisi said , “ start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible”.
The cruelty of the pandemic’s impact upon individual and community lives has been significant. The closure of entire economic systems , furlough schemes , job losses and a re-think about what was normal including the place of high streets and how we shop. The struggle of the Old Man against the forces of nature and his determination to overcome them has a resonance within the concept of knowing and understanding one’s self. In the context of ‘esse quam videri’ , the individualism of the Old Man’s determination to find the ‘big fish’ irrespective of how he was perceived by others and what others thought he should focus upon , continued to motivate him. For some , he should stop , given he was ‘seen’ by the community as being too old: for others he was eccentric, ignoring the core objective of fishing for the community rather than seeking a life-long ambition.
It seems that the national ‘soul searching’ and re-evaluation of “what next” and “I want to do something different”, reflects the move to finding more about ‘self’ rather than continuing with what exists. This is an important collective development given that ‘things’ may not be the same for a long time. The question remains what the ‘new norm’ will look like ( if there is to be one) and what our place will be within its parameters. It is perhaps in our haste to find a solution about what our future will look like , including our role within ‘the new norm’ that the imperative or urgency to find a solution can in itself become a danger. It is after all important not to lose sight of a key driving force in all lives; progress not perfection.
In searching for an understanding of ‘esse quam videri’ , we constantly return to the question or concept of ‘what matters to us’. In a Covid/post-Covid world , in an almost cacotopia or dystopian environment , we are now having to re-think how we respond to our changing circumstances. It seems that the concept of ‘working from home’ , a one-time ‘ideal’ has become a scenario where ‘home is now the place of work’. It almost seems that a return to 18th century ‘cottage’ or domestic industry has returned full circle! Yet in seeking to understand who we are , it is essential that we interact with our fellow human beings; and yet , this has been restricted by government pronouncement ‘Stay Home’ which has led many to be fearful not only of leaving their homes but interacting with others. If ‘esse quam videri’ has any basis in peoples lives then it has to be set within the context of human contact not isolation. This includes returning to work following the pandemic , unafraid , like the ‘Old Man’ and recognising that who we are is integral to our wider society responsibilities including re-starting the economy. After all , what could be more dystopian than having a collective societal view of not wanting to return to work.
There are after all universal truths regarding man’s existence in this world including , pride , respect, tenacity and dreams which drive men to fulfil their quest in the face of struggle especially that of a pandemic which has turned a world inside out. It is ultimately our attitude to life , like that of the Old Man, which is inherent in any human struggle especially in the face of adversity , offering lessons to all of us and the pandemic has left many ‘facing adversity’.
In ‘Hamlet’ , the foolish , garrulous and disreputable Polonius says , “To thine own self be true”. This of course can be interpreted in a number of ways including ‘do the right thing’ or being honest in relationships’ and even , how we are in a better position to judge ourselves, than being judged by others. While challenges and setbacks can strip any man of all outward signs of success , his spirit can remain strong , undiminished and undefeated ; having found the ‘esse’ , ‘to be’ , is fundamental for us all . Refusing to give up in the face of adversity such as a pandemic and irrespective of how others see us or ‘seem’, the message of ‘esse quam videri’ must always be to never give up , to re-evaluate and to keep on trying: after all , doubt can kill and believing in one’s own ability and self is at the heart of any good epitaph.