ESPíRITU— Teams at a horse ranch: life after zoom

 ESPíRITU 

THE HORSE GUY 

Coaching with Horses 

Story #4

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Life Beyond Zoom

Teams at a Horse Ranch

It happens when we’re not looking. After hours spent each day on zoom calls with our team we slowly come to believe the world we see on screen is the only real world. People lose their arms and legs, shoes go missing altogether along with purses and sun glasses. We distract ourselves with one another’s wall hangings. Imperceptibly, what may have been a more expansive conversation shrinks into whatever can fit into a 50 minute meeting. If we have time, we inhale one more time before the next zoom waiting room is available. Exhaling doesn’t happen until the evening when the screen goes dark. Each day passes like this. The real problem: We have outgrown the conversation. It has become too small for us. Our Spirit languishes.

We have had many teams at the horse ranch in recent months. They all come for the same reason, unbeknownst to them. Whole-hearted connection. It may sound soft to some but actually requires courage. New possibilities for your organization, team or business invariably begin by asking new questions. This can be a challenge when moving at breakneck speeds each day. We go on retreat to have the conversations we don’t have at work, deeper more wide ranging dialogue than we are accustomed to. What better place to confront the challenge, uncertainty and ambiguity of our work life than to step into a beautiful, relaxed horse ranch where challenge, uncertainty and ambiguity abound? The only thing missing is the frenetic pace. This absence is the fertile soil in which new connection with oneself and others can grow.

When they first arrive at the horse ranch team members are often excited to finally “see” one another after many months of Covid separation. We begin with silence, allowing ourselves to enter a new and different space. A check in follows: How are you feeling as we begin...what will you need to let go of to be fully present with us today...a high point and low point in the past three months — what made them high or low — one surprise you’ve had during Covid...your highest hope for the day? Already, team members are seeing a different side of those they thought they knew.

Horses are amazingly wise animals. They think and connect with their environment largely through their bodies, not their brains. Our goal is to learn how to drop into our own bodies; this way we can connect both with the horses and also with the the wisdom of our bodies and minds combined. Our bodies frequently know things our heads do not. We introduce people to different mind-body reflections, deepening their ability to make sense of their physical experience. They are ready to meet the horses now. For those with little or no history with horses, this hands-on time can be an exciting rendezvous and a little scary, too. Walking with a horse, leading horses through obstacle courses, sharing experiences through art are all possibilities on retreat. And nature. A solitary lady bug hovering, not once but three times, in front of a leader ‘teaches’ him to be present. A barn kitten plays with a shoelace, reminding a manager to lighten up. Everything available is used to nudge people out of their routines and invite them into a different kind of conversation. The horse ranch — and Nature herself — become a living laboratory for experimentation.

Leadership retreats should include something about leading, no? We often invite team members to do what the vast majority of executive business schools and MBA programs fail to do: look at themselves as leaders. A novel idea; who knew? We suggest there are two primary ways of leading; we all have tasted both. The most popular is Reactive Fear-Based. Something happens that feels threatening, we clench and react. Short term, self centered outcomes are predictable here. The other is Creative Purpose-based. Things happen here, too, but we learn to be curious about them, asking what we want to have happen now? Longer term outcomes only now become possible. 

New questions arise. What assumptions about yourself are at play on your best creative days? How do they differ from those operating on your worst reactive days? We each have our struggles. Suddenly, the team sitting under a row of trees becomes a circle of allies to one another. The secret is out but we all have the same set of secrets! Just yesterday some may have been convinced they were not members of the same species with those in other departments. Uncovering this shared potential brings with it surprising and spontaneous discoveries.

Horses open up space within us and between us that has been there all along, albeit in latent form. Teams are frequently surprised, in the weeks following time at the horse ranch, that teamwork, collaboration across departments, quality problem solving, alignment and trust all go up significantly even though none of these were the topics of the day. There is less defensiveness and blaming and more support and encouragement in everyday — zoom — interactions. And more grace. Horses invite a heightened level of congruence in mind, body, heart and spirit. Our decision making from this space is more clear and responsive, our action is more direct and purposeful. Why we settle for so much less and attempt to force so much more is a mystery horses are pleased to help us resolve! Taste for yourself. You’ll enjoy the conversation!

For more information about ESPíRITU programs check us out at

www.espírituhorse.com 

Lisa Holden, 414-405-6892, [email protected]

Dan Holden, 860-983-8203, [email protected]