Escaping The Identity Trap - To Live a Happier Life

Many people are reassessing and redesigning their lives as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.?In essence, they are planning and executing their escape from the Identity Trap.

?What Is The Identity Trap?

The Identity Trap is a self-imposed prison: a state of mind that we put ourselves in when we try to find happiness by thinking and doing what seems to make others happy (at our own expense). I’m sure you don’t need any examples; you can, most likely, provide as many as I can.?

?Author Harry Browne, in his book How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World, suggested that there are two distinct Identity Traps:

?1)?????The belief that you should be someone other than yourself – where you necessarily forfeit your freedom by requiring yourself to live in a stereotyped, predetermined way that doesn't consider your personal desires, feelings, and ambitions.

?2)?????The assumption that others will do things the same way you would. This trap is more subtle but just as harmful to your freedom.?When you expect others to have the same ideas, attitudes, and feelings that you have, you expect them to act in ways that aren't aligned with their true nature. Consequently, you'll expect others to do things they're incapable of doing.

?Life seems to be a constant, never-ending struggle sandwiched between two voices and choices: The path you want to travel down, and the path others want you to travel down.?

COVID-19 – An opportunity to escape the Identity Trap

Most people live in two worlds.

• The real world - the world in which they move, work, and live - the world of the nitty-gritty; the daily, stressful grind, with little reward.
• ?And then there’s the world of the imagination; one that offers almost unlimited opportunities and is the world in which most people would secretly like to live.?

?What’s keeping people from moving into the world of imagination??

• For the most part, it’s habit: holding on to limiting beliefs that result in underachievement at all levels.?For instance, I am too old to land another good job. Or, I'm not smart enough to do this. Or, I wasn't meant to be lucky in this life.
• Then there’s the fear of falling flat on their faces – the fear of failure.?Unlike a baby trying to walk for the first time, most people focus on the falling, whereas babies focus on the walking – long before they actually can. Fear is not a barrier to success for babies, because they process fear – and the act of falling – as a normal and necessary part of achieving success. Remember what most fear represents: (False Expectations Appearing Real).
• Finally, most people fail to understand the consequences of settling for less... the inevitable "regret": knowing they should have done better, could have done better, but got caught in the Identity Trap. No do-overs.

?The greatest blessing-in-disguise as a result of COVID

There will be many blessings in disguise that come about as a result of the pandemic. But perhaps the most significant blessing the pandemic will give us is the opportunity to reassess our lives.?To reevaluate our careers and work lives, our relationships and personal lives, our health, and our futures - and make life-enhancing adjustments.

Do we want to live to work, or do we want to pivot... and work to live more fulfilling and meaningful lives? Asking new, compelling, and eye-opening questions, can help us escape the Trap:

• Do I want to live in the city or the burbs?
• Do I want to work in an office or at home?
• Do I want to commute three hours a day?
• Do I want to make a living... or make a difference, making a living?
• Do I want to work for a good company, or settle for whatever I get?
• What changes can I make so my family is happier and healthier?

?In summary - the pandemic affords us a pause - a timeout to assess and reassess our lives, to determine if we are living life on our terms... or caught up in the Identity Trap.

?If trapped, know you have the power and ability to get un-trapped, so you?begin to live life on your terms; not at the expense of anyone, but to better serve everyone – especially yourself.