Escaping Fear with a Deck of Cards

In the early 1990s, the civil war between the two Mujahideen Islamic groups caused the destruction and the death of thousands of Afghani civilians. Many nights the dark sky would light up like the fireworks while my favorite uncle played cards with us kids to keep us distracted from death and trauma going on outside.?

?My uncle was in his late twenties and my favorite. He made everyone laugh and always teased us. He was also a cheater when we would play cards. He used to tease us by hiding important cards either under his sleeves, in his shirt, or even on the back of his neck. His reaction every time he would get caught was, “I don't know how it got there,” with a confused look on his face.

One night, the fight between the warring groups outside became severe. So much so we all got emotionally overwhelmed with fear…wondering if this is the night we will die? Is this the end of our life??

This night my uncle stepped up and decided to call for the kids to bring out the cards and said with a smile on his face, “Let’s all play cards tonight…it might be our last night living on this earth, But let’s make it a fun night, right?” He knew this was the only way to distract all the young ones from the terror of the night. Gratefully, that night our lives were spared. When the shooting and bombing stopped a sense of relief fell over us. We survived…yet another night.

Today my uncle still lives in Afghanistan. He is married and has two young adult daughters. One of my cousins is a university graduate having been permitted to go to school. My uncle is facing the same war he faced and lived through 20 years. His daughters can’t work. They are home fearful that they may never see freedom. Fearful that their education could cost them their lives.

This makes me realize how much freedom and liberation I have to be grateful for.

As a woman, living here in the States, I have the freedom to speak my mind and the freedom to choose. My cousin does not have any of that. I can freely make my own decisions. My cousin cannot. I have the freedom to socialize with whomever I please. I can walk down the street unescorted. I can vote and work and buy and sell and make all my choices myself. My cousin cannot.

One of the most awful outcomes of being oppressed is having your choices taken away. Oppressed people aren’t allowed choices. How can we change the stories of women like my cousin?

While you take a moment to digest the gravity of the situation in Afghanistan, specifically the blatant disregard for basic human rights, it must have occurred to you how easy most people like myself have it beyond the borders of our home country. Don’t get me wrong, I do not mean to trivialize the gift I have received, instead, I point to the fact that freedom of the kind you and I enjoy appears so natural that sometimes, we do not consider it such a high commodity. But for women like my cousin, that’s exactly what it is; almost unattainable.

A woman equipped with freedom can climb the tallest ladder, bearing all of her burdens on her back. In the struggle for education of the girl-child in Africa, there was a phrase that became the slogan for that movement, and I will note it as it is timely for this conversation “If you educate a woman, you educate a nation.” It speaks volumes among women with great potential which can only be unlocked when they are provided with the opportunity to do what they have been built to do without the limitations imposed on their lives.

It is inhuman to treat women like animals. They have a lot to offer the world, but they cannot do this if they are forced to dim their lights because of tradition and religion. They cannot make any impact on their world if they are not free to associate with like minds, attain freedom from ignorance through education, or when they are constantly living in fear for their lives.

How do we make sure that the shackles keeping the women down especially in Afghanistan are broken? This question is for every well-meaning individual appalled by happenings in Afghanistan.

Concerted efforts will help greatly in changing this insidious narrative. Several NGOs are working to help Afghani women, especially in the area of the sanctity of life and the protection of their freedom. This is where you and I come in. We can provide financial support, manpower (as volunteers), or specific expertise in ensuring that the evil practices against women in Afghanistan are gradually brought to its end.

I have found some tenets in the laws of western countries which encourage my belief that every human irrespective of race or religion should attain freedom for self-actualization. The American constitution has one vocal phrase that remains ingrained into my psyche “We hold this truth to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.” Lend a hand today, to ensure that this equality trickles down to all the women whose lives are constantly endangered by the practices of the Taliban.?

Learn more on how you can support the Afghan refugees in the United States by visiting my website at jazz-cannon.com