Escape the Perpetual Grind

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https://www.alexatherton.com/blog/escape-perpetual-grind ?

Read time: 6 minutes

Who doesn’t love a bit of work-life balance? Or even a lot of it!

How about polishing off a 35 hour (max) week, working wherever you like. A proper lunch break every day.

Sign off on Friday (early), light that barbecue and crack open something cold. No work-related emails or other messages arrive until Monday morning.

<Sigh>

There’s no shortage of content on work-life balance. Given that I’m going to take a slightly different approach here.

What do you really need to do to escape the perpetual grind?

Here’s four ‘how tos’ to consider.

1. It is all about the work

In theory you can approach the work-life balance question from either direction.

Is it primarily about reducing your workload or increasing your life beyond work?

Let’s look at the latter approach.

You can join a gym, commit to the pub quiz, buy your cinema subscription and contact friends you haven’t seen for a while.

You can even add them to your calendar. Look at that! There will be no work going on there.

And you could argue that because you are going to be SO BUSY beyond work you will simply have to reduce your workload to make it all happen.

It might work. But not for very long.

There is nothing on that list above which cannot be cancelled at short notice. Beneath it all, your fundamental habits have not changed.

You can create so much ‘life’ that it counterbalances your huge workload. When you get to that stage, you might realise that you have missed the point.

Ultimately no one is going to ‘escape the perpetual grind’ for you. That is your decision.

You will never get the work-life balance you want, or even close to it, unless you are prepared to focus on reducing your workload.?

Those difficult conversations with those you manage not performing well enough and creating work for you? You need to have them.

The meetings you chair which continually run over time? Your job is to manage them better.

The task you delegated which didn’t get done? You need to hold them accountable.

I am not going into detail on delegation here but you can find more here on why it matters and how it works .?

Achieving a healthy work-life balance has to begin with reducing the work, not just in terms of delegation but in cutting out aspects no one needs to do.

2. Be the role model

This is your standard to set.

If you want a work-life balance you need to model it in the same way as you do everything else

It can be challenging, particularly when you get paid more and have a broader set of responsibilities. It can feel very strange to ‘leave on time’ and not reply to messages until the following morning.

Setting the standard carries wider benefits.

One -? this is what people come to expect from you. If their boss can do it then why can’t they?

Two - it puts the emphasis where it should be, on quality not quantity. It encourages strong working relationships, effective line management and respect for people’s time in general. Quality makes the boat go faster when quantity weighs it down.

Thirdly - there are significant reciprocal benefits for you. When those you manage do not stay late because they think you expect it of them, you receive fewer emails and have fewer meetings to attend. If the work stops arriving, there is less for you to do.?

If you cannot do the job well enough to hold on to some form of work-life balance then what are you going to do about that? It is too easy to mask it through giving up your evenings and weekends.

It is also too easy for those you manage to do the same, when the benefits of them owning their professional development are so significant.

3. Nurture your support networks

If you want a balance in your life, it is best not to seek it alone.

Who forms your support network(s)?

Let’s look at the possibilities

1. Find your peers - leadership may be lonely which is why you need to find those people you can talk to about it all. A few trusted colleagues can make all the difference, not least when you see the extent to which you can help them. An hour or two several times a year will produce a lot of value for all who attend.
2. Hold on to your mentors - whatever job you do there will always be others who are several steps ahead. Find them. You may feel that they have done enough mentoring of you, or that there should be a time when you stop asking questions of the same people. The reality is that they are doing the same thing with whoever is ahead of them, and are only too happy to help. You can do the same.
3. Have a leadership coach - as you might expect I would say ! The point is about having a completely neutral conversation with someone who can bring out your very best thinking. Often the most powerful answers are deep within yourself; you just need the right space to put it all together.
4. Talk to staff - not only is this part of modelling, but it is also a valuable opportunity to discuss common challenges. Some of the worst inefficiencies within the organisation can be found through discussions like this.

4. Define your version of success

If this exercise focuses exclusively on work, then you are in the wrong place.? The ‘life’ element of the? balance does not happen magically on its own.

If you conflate self-worth with professional achievements, you need a shift in your mindset.

As is often said, no one ever gets to their death bed wishing they had worked more.

And no one gets to their retirement speech (should you get to make one) hoping that the tributes paid by others will reel off the number of hours you worked. Any family in attendance will no doubt be more than aware of that.

I used to say that if I was still doing the same job at 60 in the same way as I was in my early 40s I would be in a box. And then it wasn’t a joke.

What is your big passion project which will never start?

What are the passion projects of your significant other, or other family, which they cannot even think about because of what they are sacrificing for your additional hours?

At your next big birthday what do you want to look back upon?

If the answer to that last question is more of the same but you’ve got this far in the article I would query it.

Remember that

• Achieving your desired work-life balance starts with determining what you really want from your life.?
• Think quality first. If you conclude there’s a lot you need to improve, then swallow your pride and form a plan. Reducing the quantity depend on it.

How can I help you?

1. One to one coaching programmes for senior leaders who are swamped by their jobs so they can thrive in life. Click here to discover where you are on your journey from Frantic to Fulfilled? Just 5 minutes of your time and you will receive a full personalised report with guidance on your next steps!

2. Team coaching programmes - working IN a team is not the same as working AS a team and yet they are often treated as if they are the same. I help teams move from the former to the latter, and generate huge shifts in productivity and outcomes.

3. Talks, workshops and seminars - including topics relevant to the two areas above plus explaining Gen Z to Gen X.