In the Era of "Have it All," Are We Doing Ourselves a Disservice?

I read an article this morning about a healthy 24-year-old who suffered a severe heart attack, despite leading an active and seemingly balanced life, is an unsettling reminder that our modern obsession with “having it all” may come with a hefty cost. As a society, we've become accustomed to believing that success is measured by how much we can juggle—career, fitness, social life, family, and everything in between. But are we, as a society, heading towards a version of burnout—or worse, a total wipeout—by chasing an unrealistic ideal of what a fulfilled life looks like?

This question resonates particularly strongly in today's landscape, where the pressures of the modern world are compounded by a return to office mandates, economic instability, and ever-increasing expectations around productivity and personal achievement. The heart attack suffered by this young woman underscores an unsettling reality: health, both mental and physical, is not immune to the mounting pressures of “having it all.”

The Burden of Perfectionism

In the past few years, the mantra “strong not skinny” replaced older, harmful body ideals, championing strength and health over mere appearance. It seemed like progress, didn’t it? But the pendulum may have swung too far, creating a new set of expectations that still tie self-worth to achievement—only now it's not just about being fit or looking good but about how much you can do.

For many of us, this desire to “have it all” plays out in extremes. Perhaps you resonate with the idea of going from obsessively hitting the gym to barely having the energy to walk to the corner shop. It’s either full throttle or nothing, no in-between. We ping-pong between extremes, from over-commitment to complete exhaustion, which ultimately is unsustainable.

For introverts, or even those who find social and work-related pressures taxing, the constant push to "do more" and "be more" feels overwhelming. I've been employed in people-facing roles for over half my life. For the natural introvert—or anyone simply trying to maintain a healthy balance—it can be draining to meet society's expectations day in and day out.

And then there's the endless striving to meet the expectations we set for ourselves, driven by societal messaging that suggests we can—and should—excel in every area of life. Career success, physical fitness, a rich social life, self-improvement, and personal happiness: we're bombarded with the idea that we can and should be excelling in all these areas simultaneously. But is this realistic? More importantly, is it even desirable?

What is “All,” and Do We Really Want It?

The idea of “having it all” has long been promoted as an ideal, especially for women, but increasingly for everyone. It’s rooted in a vision of success that equates doing more with living better, but it’s easy to see how this narrative can trap us in cycles of burnout. When we talk about "having it all," we often forget to ask a critical question: What is “all”? And do we even want it?

In chasing this abstract goal, we may be sacrificing our mental health, physical well-being, and overall happiness. The social media culture we live in makes it worse, as we constantly compare our lives to the curated versions of others'—their jobs, fitness routines, friendships, and accomplishments. It’s exhausting, and for many of us, it feels like no matter how much we achieve, there’s always something more we should be doing.

Is it any surprise, then, that more of us are feeling overwhelmed? This sense of fatigue is heightened by the return to office mandates, where people are being asked to re-adapt to old routines, commute again, and navigate the social dynamics of the workplace. For many, the pandemic highlighted the fragility of work-life balance. Yet here we are, being asked to “go back to normal,” even as “normal” no longer serves us.

We don’t all need to wake up at 5 a.m. to crush a workout before a full day of high-pressure work and a jam-packed social calendar. Yet the modern narrative suggests that to slow down or scale back is to fail.

The Threat of Burnout (and Beyond)

Burnout is no longer just a buzzword—it’s a crisis. It's becoming increasingly clear that the pressure to excel across multiple areas of life simultaneously is a recipe for physical and mental collapse. We now live in a world where young people in their 20s and 30s are experiencing levels of stress typically associated with middle-aged adults deep into their careers. If even a healthy 24-year-old, actively engaged in life and fitness, can suffer from a heart attack, what does that say about the rest of us?

The influx of health problems like anxiety, depression, and even cardiovascular disease in younger populations may be a direct consequence of our fast-paced, high-pressure lifestyles. We are constantly "on," whether at work or on social media, and there seems to be little room for rest, reflection, or genuine self-care.

If this continues, the future doesn’t look promising. Instead of striving for “having it all,” we might need to redefine what “all” means. Rather than trying to meet every societal expectation or live up to an Instagrammable life, perhaps the real goal should be to live in a way that feels right for us—even if that means scaling back or rethinking what success looks like.

The Path to Balance

I find myself wondering, hoping and wishing that, at the very latest, I'll wake up on January 15th 2033, at the grand age of 42 and finally have the answer to this “Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything”. The idea that clarity will come eventually, after years of striving, is comforting but also reminds us of the absurdity of life's expectations. While it’s easy to joke that the ultimate answer may not come until we’re well into middle age, many of us are craving it right now.

The reality is, the “answer” might be simpler than we think. It might not lie in having it all but in choosing what we want our “all” to be. Maybe we’re not meant to do everything all the time. Maybe we’re supposed to choose where we put our energy and attention—to opt out of certain pressures and focus on what brings genuine joy and fulfillment.

As we move forward, the challenge will be not just to balance the demands of life but to redefine what it means to live well in a world that constantly pushes us to do more. Maybe, just maybe, the ultimate answer lies in doing less and being okay with that. The key could be finding peace with the idea that sometimes, it’s enough to just be.

In the era of "having it all," maybe the real success lies in recognizing when we need to let go.