Equity and Equality in Every Energy Exchange

Equity and Equality in Every Energy Exchange

Your energy is expensive! Every interaction and activity has the potential to either drain or fill your tank, especially in a demanding workplace. When we can distinguish what depletes us versus what rejuvenates us, we can become the managers of our own energy and take control over our professional lives. So how do we make sure we’re not running on E? For licensed therapist and award-winning entrepreneur Bea Arthur, it all starts with our emotions.

Arthur, CEO and founder of two psychological counseling tech start-ups and host of a mental strength podcast called Bea The Change, graced BCG’s latest Lunch and Learn with bubbly guidance on how to have rich b*#%! energy. Her vibrant, interactive lecture was as fun as it was informative. Bea Arthur’s current company The Difference provides corporate counseling for high-performance employees in high-pressure work environments. Arthur was open and candid about her own mental health challenges along her journey, graduating from Columbia University and becoming the first African-American female founder accepted to the prestigious Y Combinator accelerator. Arthur has spoken for TEDx, Slack, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Forbes Women on the topic of energy management and mental health. And, as she taught us, when we talk about our mental health we’re talking about our mental wealth.

We live in a culture of distraction and denial. We are distracted from ourselves and our emotions, by Netflix and Tik Tok, work and relationships, etc. And we, women especially, are in denial of our emotions partly because of our culture of politeness and accommodation, and partly because of the misleading logic chains our brains employ to disengage us from what we’re actually feeling. Humans are the only animal species that denies their own instincts. But, as Arthur stated, the body, it’s hormonal and nervous system responses, is full of useful information. Emotions can move us into action and towards change.

Instead of ignoring mental wellbeing in the workplace, how can we use a deep understanding of it for better emotional health, better colleague and client relationships, and better business? 

Here are Bea’s tips for maintaining a healthy mind and heart in the office:

1. Boundaries are a beautiful thing. “Nine to five” can feel like an ancient ideal more than a current reality, and productivity hacks have our energy maxed out. Creating boundaries around your time allows you to engage in regenerative activities like cooking, hitting the gym, or even going to happy hour. Know when you’re tapping into hustle culture and know when you’re checking out from it.
2. Pay attention to your emotions. Stress is normal. The goal is not to be happy all the time, the goal is to have all your needs met. So when a difficult emotion shows up, like anger, guilt, dread, or fear, this is your body’s way of telling you that you need something: safety, attention, acknowledgement, appreciation, rest. The trick is to observe the feelings as they come to you without letting them take over the show. 
3. No-Meeting Fridays. Yes, it is important to be in constant communication, however meetings can easily become excessive. Arthur thinks we can reduce meetings by bolstering communication in other ways, such as having an on-the-ball project manager who can dish out clear, frequent assignments. And with the extra energy from one less meeting, employees won’t need to be micromanaged as much—they’ll be operating at their best. She also recommends No-External-Meeting Mondays.
4. Be directive with your energy so you can be protective with your energy. You know that person you just dread talking to? Or that part of your day that completely weighs you down? It’s important to acknowledge these energy-sucking moments and figure out how to protect ourselves from them as best we can. Arthur says that when we are selective with our energy, we are effective with our energy. She recommends replenishing through exercise, crying, laughing, listening to music, and using your voice in whatever way feels natural to you.
5. Maintain equity and equality in every energy exchange. Arthur believes that emotional energy is a live exchange. In an unequal relationship, the energy will drain from one side while feeding into the other. But the goal in any equal relationship is to be on the same page and to meet the needs of both sides. If someone is yelling or being rude, they don’t want your best. That’s why Arthur has a zero tolerance policy for disrespect—because no amount of money is worth compromising your wellbeing.

Thanks Bea Arthur for sharing your wisdom! With these mental health tips, we can move towards the personal alignment everyone deserves in their professional life.