Equanimity – our ‘wise mind’ in action

Equanimity is the third quality from our series- "Cultivating happiness with the 4 Heart Qualities"

The story of the farmer:

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbours came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "May be," the farmer replied.?The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbours exclaimed. "May be," replied the old man.?

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbours again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "May be," answered the farmer.?The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbours congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "May be," said the farmer.

I love this story and the message. The farmer demonstrates a stable response to all events in life – he chooses balance and equanimity.

Equanimity is the cool poise and steadiness of the mind.

It is responding to the pleasant and the unpleasant and not giving in to a reactive emotional spiral. It is the choice to not get into a state of overwhelm.

The farmer’s balanced and wise response is indeed admirable. Yet I do wonder if it’s possible to be this stable and receptive of all experience given our crazy, busy, high pressure lives.?

Lets see –?

Imagine you just had a bitter argument with your boss, you are in a crappy foul mood. You get back to your desk and a team mate calls to ask for help on something urgent. What impulses, thoughts, emotions do you have? What do you do? Now imagine you received great praise for a task completed at work from your boss. You are in a wonderful happy mood. You get back to your desk and a team mate calls to ask for help on something urgent. What impulses, thoughts, emotions do you have? What do you do??

There could be a stark difference in the way one would react in the two situations. It is our mood that defines how we react or respond to the team mate asking for help. Equanimity is the capacity to recognize the event for what it is (just a request for help) without colouring it with our moods, thoughts and emotions. It is the ability to stand in the midst of the present moment experience and take a wide zoomed out view. This present centred awareness of our thoughts, emotions and impulses could reduce the chances of us to mindlessly react and open the choice for us to mindfully respond.?

How can this cultivate happiness?

There is something powerful here in terms of cultivating happiness and letting hope to flourish.?

A close friend was obsessed with getting a promotion. I saw her stressing out, criticising the state of affairs in the company and stating that once she gets the role she covets, that is going to be end of all problems. She finally got the role earlier this year. In our last catch up though, she was lamenting the lack of a good team in her new role.?

It makes one wonder, what exactly is the guarantee of happiness. I found the closest answer in the story of the farmer. The yummy stuff is not just at the end of the rainbow. It is here as well. It is absolutely okay to covet that role and promotion, and find appreciation for certain aspects of the current role. Being joyful and appreciative of the current state of affairs will give sustenance to go through the journey to eventually get the promotion.?

So how do we learn this attitude? Do this over the next week-

For the next two days, notice 1 experience every day that is pleasant. It could be something small like sipping your morning coffee or spotting a flower during your walk. Take a moment to notice how your mind and body respond to it. What thoughts, emotions, impulses do you have noticing the pleasant experience. This could be particularly helpful when you are going through a challenge.

For the next two days, notice 1 experience every day that is unpleasant. It could be something small again. Take a moment to notice how your mind and body respond to it. Zoom out and observe what thoughts, emotions, impulses you have. Is it possible to observe the unpleasant, experience it and let it pass??

Equanimity is just this – the balance and steadiness in the mind to let things pass. Meeting every experience with stability and poise, allowing it and then letting it go so you engage the ‘wise mind’ to respond to the present moment experience.?

I will be sharing a video on this practice later in the week.?Stay tuned!