Is Equality the same as Fairness?

I’ve been a Family lawyer since 1995. I deal with clients who are getting divorced and need help with the legal processes surrounding the separation, finances and children issues.

I love my job. I’ve always wanted to be a family lawyer since I was 16. I remember films like To Kill a Mockingbird, Ordinary People, Kramer vs Kramer all having a big impact on me and also feeling hugely passionate about books by Ludovic Kennedy about various miscarriages of Justice. It’s fair to say that I have a strong sense of right and wrong and a natural instinct to want to help people who are vulnerable or who are in vulnerable situations. Over the years I’ve acted for husbands, wives, mums, dads, grandparents, aunts and uncles and it’s given me a real insight into how relationship breakdown affects different people.

I tell people that my job is straightforward from a legal perspective. The law is clear in terms of procedures and what should and shouldn’t be taken into account when making decisions about the various issues that may arise about, for example, financial matters. Its Individuals’ behaviours and personalities that make my job more challenging. Naturally, relationship breakdown is often an emotional time for all parties concerned and that is what turns a potentially straightforward legal transaction into something more challenging. Fortunately, I like a challenge and am not adverse to high conflict situations. Let’s face it, if I didn’t I wouldn’t enjoy my job.

A word I use a lot with my clients is fairness, particularly when it comes to financial matters. It’s very common for clients to assume that when it comes to finances that the house will be split equally. Just like the common misconception about common law wives, I’m never quite sure where this assumption comes from. The law when dealing with financial matters is ultimately aiming for fairness between husband and wife. I often pose the question to my clients asking them how is it “fair” to split the house 50/50 in a scenario where wife is looking after the children for the majority of the time, is earning less than husband and has a smaller pension as a result? I also tell my clients to use the word fair when talking about the situation with their other half because saying that “I just want to sort things out fairly” tends to have a much more neutral effect than “I’m going to go for half the house”.

This approach has often made me wonder about the word equality especially following on from International Women's day earlier this week and thinking about issues relating to gender discrimination. As a lawyer I can definitely confirm that as a legal definition men and women are different. Sometimes it seems that the physical and biological differences between men and women are avoided in arguments advancing “equality” when in fact they are surely fundamental if we are to achieve fairness between the sexes not just for women?

I have 2 daughters and I want to feel that their future has as many opportunities open to them as if they were boys. However, I also want them to be aware of their strengths and weaknesses irrespective of gender stereotypes and to pursue the path that is right for them. As I have grown older I have become increasingly aware that people, irrespective of gender, generally prefer to do what they want to do not always what they should do. Some of this is down to their character, personalities, physical attributes or hormones and as long as we are aware of that and make sure that we challenge that at times we may start to make different decisions about the path we follow. I like the expression “sit at the table” when it comes to talking about ending gender discrimination, i.e. that as women, if we want to change the world then we need to make sure that we are prepared to do as much to effect change ourselves rather than leaving it to others to sort out for us .

I suppose the Family Lawyer in me naturally likes to look objectively at any situation and to seek fairness for everyone whether it be men or women. Fairness for all just sounds like such a compelling argument to me…