Epidemic of Perfectionism

I once noticed something in my reaction to a misstep I made at work, and it opened my eyes to a much broader issue. The details of the misstep aren't important, but the way I processed it feels worthy of reflection.

I had fallen short of the expected performance standard, and I noticed the intensely personal nature of my response. I felt shame and humiliation. I had betrayed my own standards. I had spilled sewage into the crystalline waters of my aspirational identity.

I took a step back to consider the deeper roots of this response, knowing each of us is constantly being nudged and shaped by ambient forces. It so happened I was reading a thought-provoking book on the downside of meritocracy, called The Tyranny of Merit by Michael Sandel, which helped to contextualize the moment.

I came to see that, for many of us, our mindset is molded by an achievement-oriented system that incentivizes certain behaviors. For years we've assumed we are responsible for our fate, for defining our destiny. Based on that premise, we've striven mightily to prove our merit and self-worth, hoping to pass through the various sorting mechanisms of society.

We've become extremely fearful of the consequences of failure in our professional striving. The spoils of victory look increasingly attractive, and the agony of defeat seems progressively demeaning. The growing separation between 'winners' and 'losers' inevitably reinforces this view.?

The system has spawned what Sandel calls a "hidden epidemic of perfectionism." It leaves people with a "fragile sense of self-worth, contingent on achievement and vulnerable to the exacting judgments of parents, teachers, admissions committees, colleagues, and ultimately, themselves. Irrational ideals of the perfect self have become desirable."

Perfectionism is the emblematic malady of contemporary society, and there are some clear ramifications for leadership. If you are working in an overtly meritocratic environment, which is to say one that selects for the best and brightest of your specific talent pool, it's highly likely a certain profile has prevailed: that of the insecure overachiever.

Leading people with this profile has obvious perils. They are perpetually alert to the slightest shortfall in their performance. When they sense they are even barely beneath a perfectionist standard, they become prone to self-recrimination and emotional spiraling.?

In such a context, one of the most important responsibilities of a leader is to nip that risk in the bud. A leader's central obligation is to re-affirm an individual's worth, and to participate in problem-solving when slippages inevitably occur. Communicating confidence in the person, rather than disappointment in the performance gap, is by far the most important principle when it comes to managing this distinctly modern epidemic.