The Epidemic of being 'Yes-Battered'.

Battered (definition) – a repeated action, damaging and wearing down in a punishing way….

The suppertime phone call trapping us into another research survey, the quest for a ‘Yes’.

The person at the mall booth selling the latest miracle face cream, the quest for eye contact and a ‘Yes’.

The bank pitching you a credit card upgrade, the quest for a ‘Yes’.

Do you have a few minutes to talk? The quest for a ‘Yes’.

We as humans react guardedly to yes-seeking questions – it kickstarts the sales resistance and anxiety. Our inside voices warn us within milliseconds - ‘uh oh, where is this going?” “What am I getting myself into?”

Chris Voss, author of Never Split the Difference is one hell of a powerful sales book delivered from the unique lens of a former FBI Hostage Negotiator. (Just buy it). Chris uses the phrase ‘Yes Battered’ and when you think about it in the sales world we are constantly begging for for commitments involving getting our prospects to ‘yes’.  

Are you guilty of ‘yes battering’?

So we if we believe that boxing people into a corner with ‘yes’ commitments creates sales resistance why do we continue to go so hard for a yes?

Simple. It’s because we are on a mission, we have KPI’s to meet, we have our eye on the prize and we need that next ‘yes’ to get closer to our monthly goal. And along the way repeated ‘Yes Battering’ questions create that nasty case of commission breath - a stench that repels our prospects and kills your momentum. (sadly, no one is warning you that your sales breath stinks, they just vanish or ghost you.)

Here’s a RINSE to try.

Ask ‘no-seeking’ questions.

Three words: GO FOR NO. 

These form of questions, reduce sales resistance and helps make prospects feel safe and more willing to have a conversation or meeting with you.

Because no one (including you) likes to be told what do you. It creates push back. Resistance. Ghosting.

Here are some examples of ‘Going for No’ that have worked well for me in my sales world – go ahead and buckle up and test drive a few:

Ready to ask for a shot at the business?

 Yes-Seeking – “Would you like me to quote you on that project?”

 No-Seeking – “Would it be a ridiculous (or bad) idea if gave you a quote on this project to have in your back pocket - just in case?” or “Would you be opposed to….”

 Being Ghosted ?

 Yes-Seeking – “I didn’t hear back from you and wanted to follow-up to see if would you still like continue our chat?”

No-Seeking – “Did you want me to put this project on ice for a bit?”

Asking for Time?

 Yes-Seeking – “Would you have 30 minutes to sit with me over a coffee”

No-Seeking – “Would it be a bad idea (or offsides) to meet over a coffee and see if we are a fit together?” or “Feel free to say no, but would you be up for a coffee to learn a little more?”

Advanced Double-Play: Combining Humour and Going for No

 If (and only if) humour works naturally for your personality why not muster up the courage to use both together. For me, sometimes using humour creates even less resistance and simply brings some levity to the awkwardness of the moment.

“I was looking forward to helping you (insert problem you solve here) but I didn’t hear back from you yet. I can only assume that you didn’t like my ‘skinny jeans’ I wore to the meeting. I totally get it, my wife and teenage daughter were horrified and made me donate them to the younger generation. By the way, it’s okay if want to put this project on ice but if you wanted to continue our conversation I promise I will show up with a new pair of pants that have been pre-approved by my family.”

 So, there you have it.

Instead of ‘Yes-Trapping’ your prospects inject some pattern interruption into your sales day and try ‘No-Seeking’ questions. I am betting big that you will earn more conversations and enjoy a way of selling that just feels better for you, your soul and for your prospects.

P.S.

Let me know how the ‘Go for No’ journey is going and which ‘No-seeking’ questions are working well for you. This was a tough technique for me put into play at the outset but now it's just the way I roll. Please share your ‘in-the-sales-trenches’ tales – I’d love to hear them!