#epicfails - and why we need to share more of them

Last week, I had the opportunity to run a training for my broader team, all about how to be “playmakers” in their respective roles. The training focused on spotting opportunities, using frameworks (like the “Situation, Complication, Resolution” and the “Impact Feasibility Matrix”) to structure complex thinking, and building compelling stories to get a pitch across the line.

As with most of the trainings I run, there was some theory, some open discussion and some peer-to-peer learning in breakouts, but there was one additional element that stood out to me: panels with leadership to share examples of how to actually use the tools IRL.

This doesn’t seem that unusual, of course. Our leadership is generally very engaged, and we have a team culture of sharing good work (#stealwithpride), but what made these panels stand out to me was the questions from the learners. Sure, there were the usual questions about “Tell me about a tricky deal you successfully closed” but so many of the questions, both to the leadership team and to me as the facilitator, focused on what to do when things go wrong:?

• When the SCR framework doesn’t really work because you’re not clear on your objective to start;
• When you think you have a principle-based walk-away point from a deal, but you’re told you have to make the deal anyway at the last minute by a new stakeholder;
• When you’ve built a great narrative using the 5Cs of storytelling, and you end up only getting two minutes in a meeting to make the critical ask you need of leadership.

All of these questions are the right ones. These are the scenarios that so many of us deal with every day in our work but oftentimes feel scared to talk about because we feel pressure to embody traits like adapting to ambiguity, taking accountability, and delivering execution excellence.

The reality is that all of us benefit when we talk about our failures more often. My best work today is informed by some pretty painful mistakes in the past. I remember a time many years ago that I made the decision to not brief a partner ahead of a big product announcement we were making because they had always been very laid-back in the past. I miscalculated the impact of this particular announcement, and they responded swiftly and negatively in the press, setting off a chain of painful meetings to rebuild the relationship. At the time, I remember going through a range of emotions: defensiveness, anger, fear, anxiety. But now I look back and think about the lessons it taught me:?

• Don’t assume the future will always be the same as the past.
• In the world of Partnerships, transparent communication is critical to maintaining trust.
• When crafting any sort of go-to-market approach, do the due-diligence of mapping out all of the possible scenarios and plan accordingly.

As humans, we all want to be inspired by stories of achievements (otherwise social media influencers and TED Talks wouldn’t be so popular), but we also crave authenticity about the bumps in the road (also why social media influencers and TED Talks are so popular). When everyone, but especially leaders, can open up about challenges they’ve faced, mistakes they’ve made and the #epicfails that happened despite best efforts to prevent them, it opens the door to deeper, more impactful learning, the kind of learning that sticks with you long after you’ve left the training room and inspires you to revisit your own work with fresh eyes.

So, next time you’re planning a training, keynote speech or panel discussion, think about ways you can infuse a little more of the “what went wrong” alongside the “what went right”. And hey, maybe even watch an episode or two of “Nailed It” for some real-life inspo (who doesn’t love cake anyway?).