Environmental conditions and boundaries

I’ve been staying in Vietnam for a bit over 3 months now. Still discovering different aspects of a new culture, trying to understand it better and figure out the way of being here. Recently I made an observation about boundaries - with the environment and with people - that I want to share.

There are countless cases of misunderstandings when working (or otherwise engaging) with people from different cultures. Erin Meyer presented a comprehensive framework with 8 axes along which cultures differ in her Culture Map.?

For example, it is widely known that western cultures are generally low-context in comparison to eastern cultures. People from Asian countries are much less direct, wouldn’t say ‘no’ explicitly, care a lot about not hurting others’ feelings and being civil. ‘Saving face’ often seems to have a negative connotation in western cultures, as it’s associated with lack of courage and hypocrisy. But, in my experience, it is considered to be a virtue in eastern cultures, as more value is placed on harmony in relationships. Then, on the other hand, people harbor resentment and lash out in daily interactions, lacking awareness of their pent-up anger - a friend of mine from an Asian country noted.?

It really is very interesting, because truth seems to be the fundamental value in the West. But there is a substantial variation across cultures in interpretation of what constitutes truth, what should be taken for granted, and what is being implied. It has occurred to me that these variations are inevitably reflected in how boundaries are set, and when boundaries are crossed.?

In my experience, the main challenge of communicating with people from Asia is understanding where the boundaries lie. I mean, it might feel like there are no boundaries at all and then it’s too late - a relationship with a partner / colleague from Asia is compromised because you were perceived as too rude / aggressive or you didn’t understand that they were dissatisfied / have rejected your offer.?

It got me thinking that the way that people set boundaries with each other reflects the manner in which boundaries with the world are experienced in a particular place. The concepts that get lost in translation from one language to another usually stem from unique environmental conditions of a place where a culture has developed. How we interact with the surrounding environment is reflected in the language.?

E.g., the first thing I noticed as I stepped out of the airport in Vietnam was that the air here feels soft. Like when the wind is blowing, it’s a pleasant sensation. The sea is very gentle and soft. Even the colors are somehow soft. And everything feels elusive. In striking contrast to my relatively northern home environment where the air feels harsh most of the time and it’s hard to forget about natural limitations.?

Being in such a comfortable environment is relaxing, but also produces false confidence. And then creeps in the feeling that there is something I’m failing to grasp (which I am). One morning I caught myself thinking that I no longer understood where the boundaries between me and the world lie. I had this thought that I needed to touch something tangible. To interact with something other than the ever shifting sea, to stumble into something concrete. To hear an explicit ‘no’.?

An hour later I had a motorbike accident (luckily without any severe injuries). I suppose it’s one way to sense boundaries with the world - once it’s already too late to change the course of action - literally.?

So I yet again was reminded of a simple rule to follow in a strange land: observe how locals behave (e.g., how they drive) - and act in the same manner. Watch closely how people communicate, and try to reflect that. Even if I don’t understand why. Understanding all the underlying preconditions shaping a culture’s value system, rules, and laws probably takes years and requires learning their language. If there is no time for that - paying attention to people’s manner of communication and mirroring it with child’s humility seems like a reasonable strategy.?

Have you ever had a misunderstanding with someone from a different culture??