Entry 13: Leading with Purpose

Date: March 26th, 2021

What I did this week: There was a lot of getting stuff done this week. Over the weekend, the girls got to play with Uncle Luke, which was an awesome time and a blast to see. He is the first member of my side of the family to be able to come visit in over a year due to the pandemic. I also had a nice chat with Rob, who gave me some great advice and other things to research. I also had an awesome discussion with Mitali, and hearing about her experiences and role at Korn Ferry was amazing. In between finishing SFL-TAP (big step!), Drew and I also established a will. I also had some time to meet with Bob to talk about restructuring the rugby support program to make it more effective and run smoother after many of the mentors leave. I also had a great opportunity to work with a group of cadets during an event called a “Leader’s Challenge,” which coincidentally included the story of one of my old company mates. Walking cadets through these difficult scenarios really helps show them that character in leadership matters. In that vein, I was selected for an interview as a role model for a former student as she navigates some difficult times following an honor violation. The ability to help someone deepen their reflection and growth following an issue is something I truly enjoy helping with, and it’s always such a privilege to be selected. Bob got me in touch with Tod, who walked a very similar path that I’m going down. After serving as a TAC and RXO, he left to pursue positions in Dallas in the leadership development space. Learning about his experiences was so much fun, and I look forward to staying in touch with him following the move.  I also got to participate in the USMA Combatting Extremism stand down day, and it provided me a great chance to reflect on how we can address issues within ourselves and our organization. We all struggle with finding the line between what is acceptable speech and where we move into dangerous territory, so having tough conversations was beneficial for all of us. I was able to reconnect with Al, a family friend and rugby fan. Every time we talk he gives me another, extremely relatable, way to look at how my military experience can translate to value in the civilian world. One great example: creating a decision matrix to weight your employment options. This was absolutely brilliant, and I put one together to help capture my values, the things that drain me, energize me, and some other factors. By weighting and scoring them, I can help somewhat objectify my employment opportunities. In addition, this helps me identify which questions I need to ask in interviews to answer key things that I don’t know about to inform my decision making. He also helped me talk through a ton of excellent interview questions to get at the difficult culture-related topics that help me learn about an organization while simultaneously demonstrating my potential value. Thursday capped off with a memorable event where Yvette read her book about her father, MSG Roy Benavidez, to the team at S&P. I’m so thankful to be invited to these amazing events, and hearing “Tango Mike Mike” read by the author was inspiring. I finished up the week grading papers...whew!

What I’m reading and learned: Started Leading from Purpose (thanks, Al!), which has been an amazing book so far. Understanding the impact that having clear purpose, and one that people can rally behind, in this increasingly complex world is invaluable and I’m very happy I’ve dedicated so much time to the endeavor. The more I hear from people about the importance of knowing your core values and purpose in life, the more I keep pushing that to others, and not just those going through a transition period!

Self-reflection(s) of the week: Leading from Purpose really got me thinking about my purpose, and while I’m holistically doing that through COMMIT and some other reflection, I took a stab at where I’m at right now. I need to refine it some more, which I expect to do over the next month or so. Here’s the first draft: My purpose in life is to improve others through my positive, engaged leadership. By demonstrating shared vulnerability, I strive to create psychologically safe environments to allow others to thrive. I work tirelessly to learn and grow every day, and I push others to do the same. I seek out the good in everything, trying to bring some fun into the day. My greatest joy comes from seeing others bloom into better versions of themselves and seeing them unlock more of their potential.

Did I succeed in my previous goal(s)?: Yes! Holy cow there were a lot of them and getting SFL-TAP is a huge weight off my shoulders. I’ve got so much more to do, but the pieces are starting to come together!

Goals for next week: First VA appointment, finish COMMIT modules, do a Podcast with Natasha, finish grading tests. I also need to put some time into the lodge website, which I will do by the end of next week.

Inspiration, passion, or excitement of the week: Seeing Luke with the girls was amazing. They loved playing with him and getting to catch up was a blast. Al gave me a great confidence boost in letting me know that I’m going down the right trail with how I’m approaching my transition. I still have so much more to do to make myself as competitive as possible, but his words of encouragement meant a lot.

Gratitude: Thanks to Rob to reaching out and talking shop with me about leadership, as well as giving me some other stuff to add to the research queue. Thanks to Mitali for taking the time to chat with me, it was fun to learn about Organizational Strategy and her advice to find what speaks to me I will carry forward. Thanks to Bob for being a great advocate for the rugby team. I miss wandering the hallway to talk to “the oracle” when I was in my previous job, he helped me more than anyone else keep my sanity and my regiment afloat. Thanks to Tod for talking with me and helping me recant war stories from RXO life. Hearing about his journey showed me that I, too, can take my degree and follow my passions. Thanks to Adam for continuing to invite me to participate in incredible events with S&P. And finally, huge thanks to Al for his wisdom and taking the time to talk with me. We first met at the Southgate Tavern after a rugby game, and he told me very specifically to reach out to him when I started my transition. He’s kept in touch with me through the years, helping me make new connections, and his advice was invaluable and put my mind slightly at ease.

Zach