Entrepreneurs: Overcome Burnout & Cultivate Shame Resilience

What I find myself needing to do this morning, is to write. It’s one of those mornings where I’m being pulled in a million directions.

Where am I at right now? Our church recently started a series about seasons, and I find it resonates with me deeply. For me, this summer was a season where I focused on my health first and foremost while letting other things run on semi auto-pilot in the background. My business was well established and I found myself in a holding pattern, content to keep my clients happy and stay in the moment. I wanted to enjoy Josh (my husband) being home more, focus on my personal fitness, and enjoy my kids.

But now my season is changing again, fall for me has also always been a time of learning and introspection. After all, what is a girl to do when filled to the brim with comfort food? Hibernate of course! When the weather turns chilly I find that I often spend my time reading, thinking, and writing. These things give me the rest and nourishment I need to put thought into action--to move something from the abstract realm of my mind into reality.

So as I stand on the cusp of another season I realize that it is so important for my mental health and my business to be able to be cyclical. To allow each process to ebb and flow within its own season.

Because if we’re being honest, those of us that possess the desire to work for ourselves, or to build something from scratch, often set the bar for our own success incredibly high.

I think it is far too easy for entrepreneurs and content creators to consume what I call “success porn” on a regular basis without ever actually feeling like we’re making strides towards success. Instead, we start to fall down the comparison wormhole. Feeling the bile of imposter syndrome rising in our throats, we fool ourselves into thinking that we could never be as smart as the guy with 30,000 followers on LinkedIn, the 3x best selling author, or the world-renowned serial entrepreneur with the Midas touch.

So why even start, right?

We wake each morning and tune in to the latest success porn while the same old imposter track plays in the background, subliminally telling us that we can’t do it. We buy into the myth that everything we do needs to be brilliant, that we must put out perfect and polished work, and that we must do it 

All. The. Time.

When I'd find myself getting to that point, I'd come dangerously close to doing nothing, crippled by my indecision. I would fall into an un-productivity cycle like no other, I’d end up feeling burnt, useless, like the biggest hack on the planet.

In a society that values productivity and hard work, a state of un-productivity is shameful. That shame works as a double-edged sword, perpetuating the cycle of self-doubt and effectively killing any momentum we might have to pull ourselves out of “the suck”.

Recently, I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s “Daring Greatly” and what she says about shame is powerful...

“ Shame derives its power from being unspeakable. That’s why it loves perfectionists--it’s so easy to keep us quiet. If we cultivate enough awareness about shame to name it and speak it, we’ve basically cut it off at the knees.”

To build shame resilience as creatives, entrepreneurs, and thought leaders we must learn to name our shame for what it is, and drag it kicking and screaming into the light. We must cultivate an awareness of the shame track in our heads and learn to silence it at the first whisper.

Only then can we embrace the fact that we cannot possibly be ALL things in all seasons of our lives. We cannot possibly be the hyper-productive entrepreneur running on caffeine and no sleep, saying yes to every opportunity, cranking out one high-quality body of work after another. Indefinitely.

Creating is hard work. Creating relationships, businesses, words, ideas--these are the very fabric of which our success is made, but these things are often elusive and fickle. These things require great care and a herculean amount of energy and attention.

Can we possibly keep all the plates of “success” spinning indefinitely?

No.

I just don’t think it’s what we’re made of.

This past year has been a hell of a ride.

Starting my own business while raising a young family has been nothing short of insanity. The single greatest gift I have given myself as I close out my first full year as a “real” entrepreneur is the gift of grace. The sparkling realization that my life runs in seasonal and cyclical patterns. I can either fight against the natural patterns of productivity that my life and work need me to follow.

OR

I can embrace the season that I’m in and open my inner shame dialogue up to the light, exposing it to the truth. Because as Brene Brown says:

“ Shame resilience is about moving from shame to empathy--the real antidote to shame. Self-compassion is also critically important, but because shame is a social concept--it happens between people--it also heals best between people.

Self-compassion is key because when we’re able to be gentle with ourselves in the midst of shame, we’re more likely to reach out, connect, and experience empathy.”

So what does shame resilience look like in business?

For me, it means that I’ve begun to embrace the changing definitions of “productivity” and “success” in each season. I’ve come to view them as relative terms rather than fixed in the coveted hockey stick trajectory seen on a line graph. (up, up, up!)

With this new lens, “successful” and “productive” actions encompass many things--they do not have to mean constant harvest without rest. Success in a given season can mean planting seeds to be harvested months down the road, pulling weeds, or tilling old dead things into the ground, preparing the soil for good seeds to come.

I’m speaking to any of you that feel like you’re always ON, always chasing the next greatest accomplishment. Have you ever thought about the things that can happen when you allow yourself a season of rest?

I think we can get caught up in thinking that if we’re not moving on to the next big thing, then we’re not accomplishing something. I argue that just as important as setting your sights on the horizon is to be able to sit back and revel in what you have already created. To allow yourself to be grateful and glad in all of your hard work, and to continue to delight and connect with the customers, colleagues, and friends who have gotten you to where you are in the first place. To allow yourself to stand in the light of those who inspire you, lift you up, and fill you with motivation. To enjoy good food, wine, and books.

Because productivity will come back around.

Seeds that you have planted in good soil will grow and you will find yourself once again in the summer of your work, a time of production, prosperity, and abundance.

You can use some of the emotional energy that has been stored up and be 100% ON for a while. You may find that you’re able to put yourself out there in new and exciting ways, you can push boundaries, burn the midnight oil--fully embracing a time of intensity and hard work because you know, in due time, you will return to a state of rest.

The hope is, by embracing the natural ebb and flow of your productivity, and by prioritizing your mental health and well-being, you can actually rest well. My hope for you my fellow creatives and entrepreneurs is that you’re able to confront your own shame track and expose the idea that success means constant action. I hope next time, that you rest without the fear that you aren’t productive enough, smart enough, or tired enough to ever call yourself successful.

Thank you for reading. If you're a business or entrepreneur who feels stuck in a content rut, PM or drop me a line at [email protected]. I'm here to help.