Entrepreneur Bedtime Stories: What Stories Are You Telling Yourself?

REGISTRATION for the 2nd ANNUAL SMALL BUSINESS FEDERAL CONTRACTING ROUNDTABLE & Meet and Greet: Link | https://www.eventcreate.com/e/2nd-annual-small-business-f

Someone needs to hear this today!

Before I had the honor of being the OSDBU Director, I had another life full of entrepreneurial aspirations (no surprise) and experiences that shaped who I am today. It might be hard to believe, but like many of you, I ventured out with big dreams and faced numerous failures…like a lot of setbacks. One particular failure still stands out for me, and it’s a story that continues to teach me about the power of self-perception.

?Early in my career, I had an incredible opportunity to meet Mr. Noel Hankin, the Senior Vice President of Multicultural Relations for Moet Hennessy USA. This was before the term DEIA became widely used, and Mr. Hankin has since retired. The chance to connect with someone of his caliber was a potential game-changer for my ambitions, especially in establishing a business relationship with Louis Vuitton Moet Hennessey (LVMH). Who wouldn’t want such an opportunity?

I walked into the event in Chicago 2003 with high hopes, ready to take my shot. However, as soon as I saw my competition—all clamoring around Mr. Hankin, vying for his attention—I lost my confidence. Nah, I got s h o o k! Me! Yes, Me! (And I made a promise to myself that would never happen to me again!)

?The stories I had been told or had told myself began to flood my mind. Thoughts like “I’m from the wrong side of the tracks,” “No one in this room looks like me,” “Men usually only help women, not other men,” “I don’t have the right pedigree,” and “African Americans don’t support one another” took over. These negative narratives shook me to my core, and when I finally got my chance to speak with Mr. Hankin after he had been worn out by everyone else, all I could muster was, “Hello, I’m Desmond.” That was it! Like W H A T! Yep, that’s all I could utter. ??♂?

I missed my chance to make a meaningful connection, and I never got another opportunity with LVMH.

?Reflecting on this experience, I realize how the stories we tell ourselves can be our biggest barriers to success. These internal narratives, often rooted in fear, insecurity, and societal conditioning, can paralyze us at crucial moments. My encounter with Mr. Hankin wasn’t just about missing an opportunity; it was a stark reminder of how self-doubt and negative self-talk can sabotage our best efforts.

?When I saw my competition, all eager to impress Mr. Hankin, I felt a wave of inadequacy wash over me. The voices in my head amplified every insecurity, telling me that I didn’t belong in that room, that I wasn’t good enough, that my background and experiences disqualified me from standing out. These narratives didn’t just appear out of nowhere; they were born from years of societal messages and personal experiences that subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) suggested that people like me didn’t get to play in the big leagues.

These stories—“I’m from the wrong side of the tracks,” “No one in this room looks like me,” “Men usually only help women, not other men,” and so forth—were more than just thoughts. They were deeply ingrained beliefs that shaped my perception of myself and my abilities. They created an invisible barrier that held me back from reaching my full potential.

?The lesson here is profound. It’s not just about the missed opportunity with Mr. Hankin; it’s about recognizing and challenging the limiting beliefs that hold us back. These stories are often not true—they are just stories. They are narratives we have internalized over time, narratives that can be rewritten.

?To rewrite our stories, we must first become aware of them. Pay attention to the thoughts that surface when you face a challenge or an opportunity. Are they supportive and empowering, or do they undermine your confidence? Once you identify these limiting beliefs, challenge them. Ask yourself, “Is this really true? What evidence do I have that supports this belief, and what evidence do I have that contradicts it?”

Replacing these limiting beliefs with empowering ones is the next step. Instead of thinking, “I don’t belong here,” tell yourself, “I have as much right to be here as anyone else.” Instead of, “I’m not good enough,” affirm, “I have valuable skills and experiences to offer.” This shift in mindset can transform your approach to challenges and opportunities, allowing you to engage with them more confidently and effectively.

?So, I ask you, what stories are you telling yourself that are stopping you from succeeding? Are you letting fear, doubt, or past experiences dictate your present and future? It’s time to challenge those stories, to believe in your worth and potential, and to take the steps necessary to turn your aspirations into reality.

?If I had faced that moment with a different story—one of confidence, belonging, and readiness—I might have made a lasting impression on Mr. Hankin and opened doors I never thought possible. It’s a reminder to all of us: Don’t let the stories in your head hold you back. Rewrite them!

?? Now, join me on Thursday, June 13th at the historic MLK Library DC for I have assembled the most forward-thinking minds in federal contracting...the OSDBU Directors for a “One-Day-Only” event….the 2nd Annual Small Business Federal Contracting Roundtable & Meet and Greet.

?What story are you going to tell yourself for not showing and leveling up?

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