Entitlement, Promotion Anxiety, Perfectionism, Fear of Failure And The Belief Systems Behind Them.

Hey again. Today I want to talk about entitlement. It’s something senior leaders complain about a lot in relation to their younger team members, so I wanted to shed some light on it.

Having been coached by another coach and coaching myself, whilst personally coaching over 200 young people I have gained insights on how the belief systems of entitlement, perfectionism, low confidence and overconfidence, fear of failure, and lack of responsibility and commitment are all interconnected. These are my insights and thoughts.

If you lead or hire teams with individuals showing any of these traits, then scroll through and pick read the parts that take you fancy. You may start to understand where these behaviours come from, the impacts they have on your team/businesses, and how to address them.

Entitlement:

The entitlement trap comes in two forms: In the first, you believe you're entitled to be happy all the time. This type of entitlement results from letting your emotions control you, rather than managing your emotions. In the second form, you think you're special or different in some way. This type of entitlement leads you to expect success and feel deserving of things without earning them. If you're reading this, you should be able to recognize both. But where does it come from?

We've grown up in a generation that values "not negatively impacting self-esteem," so people were often rewarded for merely participating rather than for working hard and winning. Our world of instant gratification has made us unwilling to wait for success and has led many to underestimate the importance of failure in achieving success. Consequently, some now feel entitled to success, regardless of whether they've earned it.

Secondly, Gen Z has grown up in a time of rapid change and progress, with access to more information and opportunities than any previous generation. They are more likely to prioritise personal fulfilment and purpose in their work and expect their employers to provide them with growth and development opportunities.

Thirdly, the digital age has fostered a culture of instant gratification. With the ability to access information and entertainment at their fingertips, Gen Z has developed an expectation of getting what they want when they want it. This can lead to impatience and a sense of entitlement when things don't happen quickly enough.

Perfectionism:

Perfectionism isn't a compliment. It involves holding incredibly high standards and expectations for yourself and others, believing that only the best result or 'perfection' is acceptable. If you grew up with successful parents, parents with high standards, or in an environment where people have achieved great things, you're more likely to develop feelings of perfectionism and entitlement. If all you know are high standards, that's how you'll view the world, and you may expect the same from others. Your parents and those in your environment may also expect you to achieve at the same level, further reinforcing these expectations. Consequently, you develop high expectations for yourself, making it tough to ever feel like you're good enough.

Conflicting Beliefs:

The combination of perfectionism and entitlement can lead to conflicting beliefs. On one hand, you may have great confidence and high expectations of success, being told you can do anything. On the other hand, you constantly feel like what you're doing isn't enough, and you believe you're only enough when you achieve or get what you want. This conflict is often strengthened by comparisons to idealised versions of others on social media, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

Concern with Image and Status:

When we're overly concerned with being seen as good enough, we prioritise image and status over doing the hard work needed for success. This desire to prove oneself can quickly turn into a fear of failure, as failure represents a lack of success, which an entitled or perfectionistic person may measure their self-worth against.

Sidenote: I'm not saying entitlement and perfectionism are the same, nor that if you have one belief system, you have the other. However, I have commonly found elements of both in individuals, as they both stem from not feeling enough and share common themes like fear of failure.

Fear of Failure:

For those with a fear of not being good enough, failing is a terrifying thought as it would reinforce their underlying insecurity. They will go to great lengths to avoid failure, either by not trying at all ("If I take that new job, everyone will see I'm not up to it, so I won't go for it") or by hyper-ambitiously trying to succeed (the perfectionist mindset) ("If I go for this job, I have to do everything I can to get it and once I get it, I have to do everything I can to succeed in it"). This second mindset can lead to success, but it often involves high levels of anxiety.

Promotion Anxiety:

This second mindset is where promotion anxiety comes from. Not feeling good enough deeply motivates people to succeed and progress quickly. They want success now to prove themselves to the world. This leads to frustration when they remain at a junior level with slow progression, as they fear being judged for not aiming higher. While this mindset may be entitled, it's essential to have empathy for the potential insecurities behind it if you lead or hire people with this mindset.

Lack of Grit:

Entitled people are more likely to quit, give up, withdraw, avoid criticism, and blame others when things don't work out. They often confuse pleasure with happiness, so as soon as their efforts become unpleasurable, they want to quit. Additionally, if they feel their efforts won't be rewarded as they deserve, they may quit to pursue something that promises faster success. This belief can delay overall success.

Lack of Commitment:

Fear of failure from not feeling good enough can lead to a lack of commitment. Trying means being vulnerable to failure, which could expose weaknesses and lead to humiliation. For those with this belief, committing to something feels like trying to succeed visibly, which is too scary. The belief that prevents people from committing is often, "If I'm not good enough in the first place, why bother trying?"

Links to Responsibility:

The lack of commitment hinders growth as entitled people avoid taking responsibility for failures, mistakes, or weaknesses. This denial of insecurity is a way to protect their feelings of 'happiness' and comfortability.

Impacting Job Performance:

Fear of failure also impacts job performance and teamwork. The fear of accepting mistakes as it could bruise the ego leads to covering up errors and avoiding asking for help to avoid seeming incompetent.

Productivity and Procrastination:

Fear of failure from not feeling good enough can lead to procrastination. Constantly thinking about what could go wrong and what won't work can hinder clear thinking and reduce efficiency, leading to putting tasks off. Subconscious beliefs drive these behaviours, and the afflicted person may not even be aware of them.

Mask of Confidence:

Confidence is often mistaken for arrogance, but it can actually be a mask or protection mechanism against self-doubt. Overt confidence can prevent others from challenging you, providing a shield from the insecurity of not knowing it all. While "faking it till you make it" can build confidence, it's crucial to acknowledge this self-doubt honestly for more healthy management.

Teamwork:

Wearing a 'mask' of false confidence to hide self-doubt can lead to a lack of vulnerability and fear of sharing weaknesses, limiting trust between team members and impacting results. This lack of vulnerability and trust within teams is the first ‘dysfunction of a team’ and will impact the results of the team. (Patrick Lecioni, The Five Dysfunctions Of A Team)

Sensitive to Constructive Feedback:

Entitled people can be very sensitive to constructive feedback, as it may contradict their belief that they are exceptional and special. It can feel like an attack on their self-worth.

Conclusion:

I hope you found this article interesting and would love to hear your thoughts.

Understanding these belief systems is easy enough, what takes work is knowing how to overcome them.

If you'd like to learn how you can help you team overcome this mindset to become more productive, then watch this free training video , which explains how to unlock the potential of Gen Z to increase productivity & retention.