Entitlement: The Fear Behind "Getting Mine First"

Let’s get real for a minute. Many of us talk about authenticity and intentional living like they’re trendy buzzwords, but how often do we actually live them out? Today, I want to dive into something I personally had to face head-on—entitlement—and the fear that often fuels it. It took years for me to realize just how much entitlement had influenced my life, especially in ways I wasn’t even aware of. If you’ve ever felt the need to "get yours first" before someone else does, this might resonate with you.

For years, I walked around with what people called a "resting bitch face," and honestly, I had no idea. I was living in my head, constantly overthinking everything. I didn’t realize that this was my way of acting out entitlement. I had an attitude like, "I can do whatever I want, and you have no right to be mad." And here’s the kicker: I never apologized for it. I thought I was above that. I didn’t even recognize where it was coming from.

It wasn’t until I met my father at 27 years old that the lightbulb went off. I had daddy issues—a phrase that’s thrown around a lot, but for me, it was a real void that shaped my actions and my sense of entitlement. For years, I’d been walking around with this underlying belief that I was owed something, not just from my father but from the world. Meeting him made me realize that what I’d been missing—his presence, his love—was driving much of my behavior.

And guess what? If you don’t address these kinds of unresolved issues, you’re going to bring them into every area of your life. You’ll start using people as placeholders to fill that void. You’ll meet people and get into relationships, not because of who they are, but because of what they can give you—attention, validation, affection—all the things you didn’t get growing up. And let me be real with you: it’s not going to work.

This sense of entitlement doesn’t just mess with your relationships. It shows up in your workplace too. If you’re emotionally unwell or haven’t dealt with your internal baggage, it affects how you manage people and how you lead. You may push people away without even realizing it because you’re trying to get something out of them that they can’t give you. You may start blaming others for things that have nothing to do with them.

When you live in a constant state of entitlement, you’re chasing something you’ll never fully catch. You’re searching for validation, respect, or love from external sources because you didn’t get it from your caregivers. And the worst part? You’ll end up pushing away the very people who could help you heal.

So, what’s the solution? How do we show up as our true selves in life, work, and relationships, while staying aligned with our deeper purpose? It starts with acknowledging the void—whatever that may be for you. Whether it’s daddy issues, lack of emotional support, or something else, you have to confront it. You need to stop using others to fill that space and start doing the internal work to heal.

This is where authenticity and intentional living come in. It’s not about putting on a brave face or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about doing the work to figure out what you’re really missing, addressing those needs, and releasing the grip entitlement has over you. When you let go of the need to "get yours first," you’ll find that you can lead and live from a place of genuine purpose, rather than fear.

If you don’t do this, your relationships—romantic, professional, or otherwise—will suffer. You’ll continue looking for something that can’t be given to you by others because it’s something only you can give to yourself through healing and self-awareness.

So, I’m challenging you today to ask yourself: Where does my entitlement come from? And more importantly, how can I release it so I can show up as my true, authentic self, both at work and in life?

Let’s keep it real. Because when you do, that’s when the real growth starts.

Watch a video that shares some steps to understand and overcome "entitlement". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGJVGiaeO3c