Enough Runner-Ups

Hello. Most of you know me as the campus ministry intern, the career services student employee, or the nice college student that will say “hi” to you. But what you may not know is that I am a self-funded international college student, facing the unbearable thought of returning to my home country, (a thought that I refuse to accept given the conditions I initially escaped).

First, in my family, I proudly completed my A.A. from SCF this spring, and at the end of April, I was accepted to the University of South Florida to complete my education. It was happening! And then—pop! My bubble burst with the realization that I needed more money than many people earn in an entire year to cover my International tuition, fees, and living expenses. I took to writing essay after essay, applying for scholarship awards. Time and time again, the letter came, congratulating me for being a runner up, or sometimes even granting me just enough financial incentive to keep me strung along. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful because I am incredibly humbled by these awards. But I’m being honest when I say that I cannot do this on my own any longer, and makes me feel that my dreams are just too big. Have you ever actually told anyone that their dream was too big? I learned at a young age that being discouraged does not get you far, which is why I continue to push on. 

The most disappointing reward I have received to date is a funny story. Just after I was accepted to my dream school, I received a voicemail from my college’s foundation, saying they had “exciting news” that I would be very happy to hear. I rushed out of my work place and called them back, my heart full of hopeful joy. (THIS NOT GOING TO BE ANOTHER RUNNER-UP.) As it turns out, I was selected to give a very important speech—an announcement that they later rescinded, realizing that a mistake had been made.  

My. Heart. Sank.  

I was hoping to hear that my financial worries had been lifted, but instead, I was to be tasked with composing yet ANOTHER string of moving words. I lacked both the time and emotional energy to write this accidental speech at the time, because I was in the midst of organizing a celebration of life service to honor recently deceased students, taking final exams, and already writing strings upon strings of moving words in the form of scholarship essays. Luckily, they realized their mistake and “took it back”, so to speak. Nevertheless, I feel my excitement shriveling, as the time creeps closer to fall semester. I know. They say that if it were easy, everyone would do it.

The good news is that I’m only short on tuition funds. USF (or 1st place) is only a few couple thousand dollars away. I’m cannot find any more scholarships that I am eligible for and  I feel like my dream is inching away from me, slowly. Recently, I accepted the idea of taking out a loan to cover my living expenses, but I am not eligible for student loans also because I am without a co-signer. 

So, as I write this, world, I can’t help but wonder if my dream IS just too big. Most of you are already familiar with my story, but often times I fail to share with you the pain that is shadowing me, trying to continue my education here in the United States. I know I cannot be 1st place on my own. So here I am, humbly asking you for your support. Help me gain 1st place: to be an independent man that escaped his history, broke the cycle of poverty, and will one day be able to give back to all the ones that have shaped me to this day. I invite you to be a part of my journey and support me. 

Yours truly, 

Lukas

 https://www.gofundme.com/lukas_dream