Not Enough But Not Nothing
Hello and good day!
When you have committed yourself to writing every day for 1,000 days straight, and you have long since written most of what you know, you learn to fine-tune your ears and eyes to pick up on lessons and stories that you might be able to share.
I know that this fine-tuning is real, and not a vain imagining, because I very frequently ask people if they saw what I saw or heard what I heard, and they usually haven't.
For example, just a couple of days ago, I was walking with my family through a shopping center, when we passed by a fellow talking on the phone in front of a Chinese food restaurant.
There was a painting of a dragon hanging in the restaurant window.
The dragon had green scales, a curved body, fiery yellow eyes, and a red tongue.
Chinese characters had been painted in red on the window's glass.
The fellow in question was standing to the left of the dragon painting and the characters, several feet away from the heavy, brown, wooden doorway, which had a brass knob as a handle.
At first, I saw him nodding and heard him humming agreeably into the phone, "Mmmm-hmmm. Mmmm-hmmm. Mmmm-hmmm."
My family walked ahead of me as I slowed my pace.
There was something about the way he was assenting that made me believe I ought to hear what he would say.
It sounded to me like he was just going through the motions, and with each nod and little affirmative hum, his frustration seemed to be growing.
Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.
"Listen to me! Sorry just isn't good enough! It isn't! There are some things that you just can't apologize for!" he shouted into the phone.
Very interesting.
Here is a good philosophical question.
What would be on your list of things for which you could not accept a person's apology under any circumstances?
I can think of a few things, but the list is pretty short.
Even if I had to fire an employee for ignoring company policy, I would still accept their apology if they offered one.
We could let water go under the bridge and remain friends.
In marriage, parenting, leadership, and friendship, I have found that it pays to accept apologies very quickly and allow transgressions to drift forgotten into the past, when possible, which is almost always.
Given the juicy nature of the conversation I was listening in on, I slowed to a snail's pace.
I was creeping down a corridor lined with little shops, essentially walking in place.
The fellow on the phone didn't notice though.
"How many times is she going to break curfew? How many! I've had it! I'm tired of hearing her say that she is sorry!"
Well, there you have it.
Sounds like a teenage daughter broke curfew and the dad was pissed.
My family had continued on without me, and since I felt that I'd heard enough, I sped to catch up.
As I walked away, I heard the dad humming into the phone again, probably listening while his wife attempted to talk him off the ledge.
"Mmmm-hmmm. Mmmm-hmmm. Mmmm-hmmm."
We walked through the center and turned into another center where there is a big Target.
This is the center where our chocolate shop is located.
Target is always packed.
I ended up walking behind an older couple down an aisle.
Kitchen items were off to our right and little girl's clothing off to our left.
It looked like they were having trouble finding what they came for.
I could have skirted around them, but I figured it might pay to hang behind and see how things would transpire.
An associate walked by.
He was a young man wearing a red vest and he had long dark hair.
He perceived the same thing that I had perceived about this couple, that they seemed lost, and he very politely stopped to ask if they needed help.
领英推荐
"Excuse me. Can I help you two find something?" he asked.
The husband of the couple answered.
"We're looking for a plunger please."
"Sure, no problem."
The associate took a cell phone out of his back pocket and looked up plungers.
"Those will be on aisle 132," said the associate.
"Thank you," said the man.
Then the associate smiled and walked away.
The couple continued walking down the aisle.
After a few steps, the husband turned to his wife and said, "where in the world is aisle 132?"
They walked a few more steps and then the husband began to rail on service these days.
"Nobody wants to help you anymore like they used to. Ok, fine, you tell me the aisle number but then I can't find the aisle, so what does it help?" he said.
"Look, here comes another associate. Ask him about the aisle," said the wife.
This associate was a plump young man wearing glasses.
"Excuse me. We're looking for aisle 132," said the husband.
"132? Do you see the sign up there that says bathroom? You'll find 132 right underneath it," said the associate.
"Thank you," said the wife.
The associate walked away.
"Not even going to walk us over huh?" said the husband to himself.
"Oh, come on. Stop complaining. We can find it alright now," said the wife.
"Of course we can. But kids these days never do enough," said the husband.
"It may not have been enough, but it wasn't nothing either. Both of those nice young men stopped to help us," said the wife.
When she said that, I felt very thankful to have been inconspicuously trailing behind such a wise person.
If only I could have taken her back to the Chinese food restaurant to share some wisdom with the irate father.
There is a space between not good enough and nothing.
An apology may not completely rectify a situation, but it's not nothing either.
Maybe a young associate in Target ought to walk you all the way over to the item that you are looking for.
That would be ideal.
But pointing you in the right direction is something.
If intentions are sincere, I think we ought to cut people slack even when they don't do enough to completely make a situation right.
Grace is a good policy for this in between space.
That is my opinion anyhow.
By the way, I asked my family if they had seen the man in front of the Chinese food restaurant or the older couple in Target.
They hadn't seen either.
That's the fine tuning I was telling you about.
Thank you so much for your time today.
I hope that you have a truly blessed day!
Adam