ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Male vs. Female burnout

MALE BURNOUT

Those who think that only men burn out, then I need to make this clear: this is not an accurate assumption. Not only because mainly women held those positions that were the subject of early studies: nurses, social workers, customer service representatives, teachers. There were also professions that are mostly associated by males, such as pastors, policemen, firefighters, computer scientists, financial advisors, stockbrokers and of course senior managers.

Men burn out in the same number as women. What differs is the process and the cause of burnout.

The widely accepted social stereotype of the male species has to do with strength. A "real" guy is tough, doesn't whine, but rather holds his head up high and keeps grinding until he collapses.

Their burnout is characterised by the fact that even when they feel that their reserves are running low, they are under such pressure to support their families, to always make good decisions, to be ambitious, to constantly show off what they have accumulated, that all of this relegates their connection to their own vulnerability to the background. A "real" man never cries, never gets tired. He fights for his family and fights in general: he can weather all storms.

However, the constant mental and physical alertness takes a toll on his body. He tends to hide his emotions, his fears, and his stresses. If he burns out, it usually manifests itself in a physical collapse. He doubles over his desk or suffers a serious car/sport related accident. The point is that an ambulance needs to take him away.

A "real man" does not whine on the therapist's couch complaining that he is hurting inside. He’d rather let the world know that ENOUGH is ENOUGH!, while visibly bleeding. Because a hero bleeds. And he is a hero and not a victim.

However, burnout is not for the faint of heart - I will double down on that a few more times.

FEMALE BURNOUT

Burnout is not for the faint of heart - here! I said it again.

The way women burn out is more of a "slow burning” type. They last a very long time and they gradually run out of energy. And the main reason is that they juggle many roles at the same time. These roles come with expectations - perceived or real – and there is plenty of room to never feel being good enough.

Read the following sentences and see if you have heard them before?

"How come you can’t find a nice enough partner?

Wearing that outfit? At your age?!

When are you going to start a family? I can hear your biological clock ticking!

Why do you need a separate bank account?

What a preposterous idea?! A mini-vacay with your girlfriends?!

Find a husband who can support you!

Have children, then build a career! Self-realization is overrated!

Be self-employed, then you can schedule your days around the children!

You went back to work after 6 weeks and you call yourself a mother?! What do you mean you don't want any children?

When I was your age, I already……!

The twenty-first century belongs to women! Lean in!

Let there be many more female senior managers!

A woman's place is in the kitchen."

These are just a few examples. I bet you've heard a few of these at some point in your life. But it also reflects the ever-present and ever-increasing pressure that is on us girls and women. No wonder we get lost in this maze of expectations! ?

This kind of role juggling results in you putting your own needs on the back-burner because first and foremost you want to be a good child, wife, daughter-in-law, colleague, manager, girlfriend, etc. But you also see yourself and seen by others as a bitch, a princess, a witch, an insufferable cow.

And if for some miraculous reason you have never encountered such internal struggles, just one glance at your own reflection in a shopwindow in passing and there is the devastating blow!

Nevertheless, the majority of women have a stronger social network than men. We prefer to share our problems more freely within this system. And even if we don't always get specific help or solutions, just talking about our stresses, venting, and sharing the burden helps to endure them.

The saying is true: "if mother is well, all is well". (And you do not have to be a mother either.) So, it is in the best. interest of those around us to help maintain this state of well-ness with tactically placed sweet notes on the fridge or on the bedside table, with an unloaded dishwasher, or a bunch of tulips picked up on the market on the way home.

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